Yes, we love children and always try to negotiate and explain with them, but some actions cannot be ignored. How to explain to a child that he is wrong without violating his comfort zone, without harming his psyche.
First, you need to remember that a small person is already a person. He is a person with thoughts and feelings that should not be insulted. In punishment, and in ordinary life, humiliation and ridicule are inadmissible under no circumstances. Remember that you want to raise a complete, self-confident person.
- Set hard boundaries. Determine for yourself what you will never allow the child, what is always possible, what is possible at a certain time. And tell these rules to your child. For example, do not touch the iron. You just can't, even if you really want to. This is dangerous. Soup first, then sweet. Don't change the rules. You can't have candy before dinner, even if your grandmother gave it to you. If the rules are constant, the child will quickly adapt to them. And he will accept the punishment for non-compliance calmly, since he knows that he has broken the rules. If the child did the wrong thing for the first time, he did not break the rules, since it has not yet been established. Explain in detail why this should not be done and introduce a rule. Until you have established a rule, do not require it to be followed.
- Be confident and calm. If a child openly challenges you to a conflict, do not follow his lead, do not allow yourself to become at his level, you are an adult. Toughly but calmly block the child's aggression. Speak calmly, even if he screams. If a child tries to fight, stop his hands, but do not hit back. The child reads his behavior from you, if you can fight, then he too. You don't want to raise an unrequited loser, do you? Remember this before you punish your child.
Children cannot be punished for accidental mistakes. Everyone has them. Adults also break dishes and stain clothes. You wouldn't scold your guest for accidentally breaking a vase, would you? Won't you put the guest in a corner? Why is your child worse? Do not present adult demands to the child, he may not remember your request or understand it due to the peculiarities of his age.
- Do not beat your child, do not say nasty words to him that will break his self-esteem and ruin his life, do not transfer a bad mood from work or quarrels with your spouse to your child. Remember forever - your child loves you! He was born with this love, don't kill her! And he needs your love every second, day and night, all the time. Everything that he does "wrong" has only three explanations: 1. He did it by accident (poured compote on himself, fell on his younger brother). 2. He did not know that this should not be done (he jumped into a puddle - it's so much fun, so many splashes! He sprinkled sand on a comrade in the sandbox). 3. He lacks your love (in the store he tore the dress from the hanger - my mother finally stopped talking on the phone and took my hand, but I am hot, but she will not take off my hat in any way).
- End the conflict. When the situation is settled, talk to the child, comfort him, reassure him of your love. Make peace with your baby. Discuss the situation. Separate personality and deed. You are good and the deed is bad. Say the rule again, explain why you can't do this.
And most importantly, remember about love! Before you punish - understand the situation. Stay calm. You are an adult, a loving adult! Remember this always! There are mistakes and mistakes in any educational process, but love, sincere care and warmth are the basis of a healthy relationship with a child. Only with their participation can strictness be justified.