Checking the relationship before going to the registry office and even officially getting married is not a guarantee that two people in love will be together all their lives. It so happens that the spouse cools down to his second half, and such a situation may occur in 3 years, and after 7, and even after 15 years of living together under one roof. Often, a woman is the last to know about this, believing to the end in a happy and strong family union of two loving hearts. How to understand that the husband no longer loves his wife, and are there any clear signs indicating the infidelity and indifference of the faithful?
When marrying a loved one, many girls and women piously believe that their marriage is in heaven, and therefore. will be eternal. And the thought that the husband may stop loving, divorce, go to another woman or inflame with hatred for his wife, do not even occur to them. However, after a few years, rose-colored glasses break about everyday life, the second halves more and more often notice discontent, reproaches against them. And then the thoughts begin to haunt them that the spouse has grown cold, has ceased to provide due attention, has become angry, irritable, silent. This is where thoughts begin: "Does he love me the way he used to?"
In fact, there are no clear signs indicating that a loved one has cooled, "burned out" or stopped loving. It is not written on the forehead, it is not expressed in any special behavioral factors. And it is even more difficult for a woman to understand and accept the indifference or rejection of a partner when, for whatever reason, he hides the absence of previous feelings. However, if you wish, you can notice a lot of indirect "alarm calls", and you should pay close attention to them.
Key signs that a husband no longer loves his wife
Any woman or girl dreams of always being beautiful, desirable, the best and incomparable for her beloved man. And sometimes the unwillingness to believe in the absence of mutual feelings makes the wife close her eyes to the detachment, coldness, rudeness and indifference of her husband. However, some actions and situations are still impossible to ignore. If you suspect that your husband has stopped loving, cheating or hating his other half, you should look at the relationship from a different angle, pay attention to a number of alarming signs.
Keeping communication to a minimum. If earlier the spouse spent all the evenings in the company of his wife, talking about friends, his work, hobbies, and now he has become withdrawn, silent, it is worth thinking about problems in relationships. A reliable sign that the husband has fallen out of love is ignoring questions, disgruntled grumbling instead of answers and the desire of the faithful to bury his phone on his arrival home, a laptop screen instead of a serious conversation about finding out the reasons for this behavior
- Lack of touch and physical contact. How does a person in love behave? He wants to touch, hug, gently touch, carry away to bed and not let go until morning. And if the spouse has stopped hugging, touching his wife, turns his back at night and does not want to make love, refusing to be tired? It is worth considering whether such a relationship has a future. Here it is time for the dreamer, who is soaring in the clouds, to be on the alert, whether her husband has a mistress, to try to find out what is the reason for such aloofness of a loved one.
- Explicit indifference. Love and hate are seething with vivid feelings that are very difficult to hide. But cold, contemptuous indifference is devoid of any emotion, and this is more frightening than hidden discontent. If the husband stopped answering questions, demonstrates contempt, detachment, in this case it is no longer necessary to talk about love.
- Manifestation of rudeness and discontent. A partner who does not love, and sometimes even worse - simply hates a partner, will deliberately offend her, be rude, and nervous. Such a relationship is doomed to failure, trying to restore them and "glue" it is pointless. If a spouse openly mocks his wife, is able to dissolve not only his tongue, but also his hands, it is worth thinking about divorce.
- Demonstration of superiority and selfish behavior. A loving person will never humiliate a soul mate, boast of his "ego", a higher salary, strength or ambition. If the partner began to behave selfishly, thinking only about himself, personal comfort and superiority, it is worth considering whether he has fallen out of love with his wife. Alarm bells - humiliation, provocation of quarrels and scandals, disrespect, denial of money, help. It is better to leave such tyrants immediately, it is impossible to re-educate them.
- The emergence of secrets from his wife. If the always benevolent and open spouse suddenly became silent, withdrawn, put passwords on the phone and computer, then he has something to hide. And the first thought that comes to mind in such a situation is the presence of a mistress. Unfortunately, suspicions often turn out to be correct, and here it is the woman herself who must decide how to live on. It's not worth it to happen other people's advice, but you don't need to let everything go by itself either. The best thing is to bring a man to a frank conversation in order to dot the "i" s.
Also, suspicious signs that make you doubt the love of a loved one include his irritability, irascibility at the most neutral question or proposal, dissatisfaction with food, the appearance of his wife. Do not ignore the unwillingness of the husband to touch, spend time at home, the appearance of overtime work in the evenings and frequent business trips.
Reasons killing love
There are many reasons for the cooling of the spouse's feelings. Some do not like the fact that the wife stops taking care of herself after the birth of the child, others become bored in marriage without previous hobbies. Some blame the conflict nature of the second half for the emergence of hatred, constant complaints about work, wages, and household affairs.
The main reasons for the fact that love leaves or disappears, psychologists have identified:
- lack of common hobbies, topics of conversation, interests and friends;
- excessive obsession or guardianship of the spouse, bordering on suspicion of infidelity;
- continuous monitoring, accompanied by nagging and checks;
- hysterics for any, even insignificant, reason, with scandals and quarrels;
- manifestation of disrespect, selfishness;
- lack of money in the family;
- incompatibility in the intimate sphere;
- inability to hear, listen and meet the wishes of the spouse.
Before pondering why the husband began to treat badly, communicate less, stopped talking about love, it is worth thinking about your behavior. Perhaps the reason for the cooling of relations is not only in the spouse. If the wife is ready to admit her mistakes and correct herself, the marriage can be saved through the joint efforts of two loving hearts. If, due to constant conflicts, love has passed, or hatred for a partner has appeared, divorce is inevitable.
Is it worth keeping a family at all costs?
If the wife has come to the conclusion that her husband does not love her, is it worth keeping silent, enduring insults and misunderstandings? Or do you need to bring a man to frankness, pin him to the wall with your arguments and suspicions? Maybe shouts "What does not suit you in me?" and "Why are you humiliating and ignoring me?" help to solve all the problems? Psychologists in such situations recommend one thing - until suspicions are confirmed by facts, it is meaningless to assert anything.
If the husband does not admit that he has fallen out of love, has found another woman, or has decided to leave the family, but is still cold, thoughtful, silent, you should try to find out from him what this attitude towards his wife is. Maybe he has lingering depression due to losing his job, or stress? And the wife had already come up with a bunch of options for a possible divorce with a division of property. But if the faithful admitted that he had a mistress, or angrily yelled in response about hatred instead of past love, such an attitude should not be tolerated. There is only one way out - a divorce. Yes, it’s hard, difficult, humiliating, but it’s better to go through some time in despondency and sadness, so that later you can build a new life and even new relationships with a person close to your interests.
Some women, when telling their husbands that he no longer loves his wife, leaves her or has a mistress, continue to cling to the crumbling marriage, hope that everything will work out. However, you have to understand that a return to the previous relationship is hardly possible. Such cases are very rare, and even if the spouses reconnect after the divorce, the feelings are completely different. It's easier to let go of a person, give him the desired freedom, accept the absence of past love and try to live in a new way.
Psychological advice
Many women prefer to suffer in silence, not sharing their suspicions and worries with anyone. However, this is the biggest mistake that can lead to an even greater distance between spouses from each other. Experts advise sharing your feelings and anxieties with loved ones - mother, girlfriends, work colleagues. Even a simple piece of advice or a similar situation in the family of someone you know can help you understand what is going on in your partner's soul, find a common language.
Psychologists also give simple advice to those who seriously suspect their husband's lack of love, attention and respect for their other half:
- not to be silent, but not to scandalize, but calmly ask your spouse about his expectations from marriage, the presence of family problems and ways to solve them;
- analyze your behavior, exclude rash tantrums, scandals "out of the blue";
- think over prospects for the future, ways to maintain good relations;
- take a "pause", taking a break from each other for some time, spending a vacation separately;
- not to lose hope of renewed passion.
If the husband actually stopped loving his wife, told her about it in plain text, here experts are unanimous - the marriage should not be preserved, it is better to divorce, but in a civilized and cultural manner.
