Husband and wife, spouses, love, relationships, mutual understanding and support, a child or several children, marriage - we mean all this when we want to start a family. Well, in fact, starting a family is a simple matter. A solemn ceremony, a stamp in your passport - and you are already a respectable married man or a serious married lady. But then the most difficult and interesting thing begins, and it consists not in having children and living happily ever after, but in keeping this newly created family.
Sad but true: about 70% of young families break up within the first two years of marriage. Why is this happening? Can this be avoided? After all, a divorce is a big psychological trauma, especially if a baby has already appeared in the family. In fact, it is necessary to think about the preservation of relations, about the strength of family ties long before its creation. Ideally, this should be taught at school, and loving parents are obliged to prepare children for family life, so that later there will be no bitter disappointments. And for this it is not at all necessary to read long lectures, or study psychological works. Just before starting a family, you need to pay attention to two simple, one might even say - obvious, things.
- It would be quite reasonable to find out if the couple can live together at all? In most cases, before the legal registration of marriage, the groom and the bride live separately, and only after the wedding it turns out that the young spouse is used to scattering socks, underwear and cigarette butts all over the apartment, and the newly-made wife does not know how to cook anything except store-bought dumplings. “These are trifles” - many will say. Of course, little things, but sometimes it is because of them that young families break up. The ideal option is to live together for some time (but only separately from moms and dads!). Living together gives lovers the opportunity to see each other on an everyday, everyday level, with all the features, habits, advantages and disadvantages - and this is a very valuable experience.
- The second important condition for a strong marriage is financial independence. Of course, parental help is normal, but in a young family that is completely dependent on parents (in terms of housing, money, and whatever), one way or another, conflicts will arise that will not benefit her. That is why the creation of a family, and even more so the birth of a child, should optimally occur when young people become completely independent, and can realize that marriage is not only love, but also responsibility.
So, love, patience, the ability to make meaningful decisions, the willingness (and the ability) to take care not only of oneself - these are the necessary conditions in order to create a family: happy and harmonious.
