In conversation with each other, even the most loving couples can make mistakes that lead to resentment, misunderstanding, or even separation. One of the important factors in maintaining healthy communication with your loved one is to stop using a number of negative phrases, which will be discussed below.
I can't count on you
Even in a relationship, you can face a feeling of insufficient support from your other half. But telling your partner that you can't count on him is like making a fundamental break in a relationship.
The use of such phrases only emphasizes the inability to see the good that is between two loved ones, and only exacerbates the conflict.
I do not want to talk about this
While this may be true and you are not ready to engage in dialogue with your spouse when emotionally aroused, it is best to stop using this phrase. After all, such a statement can be perceived by the other half as an unwillingness to work on the relationship and indicate that your partner is not important to you.
In such a situation, it is important to emphasize that right now you are not ready to speak, but a little later you will definitely return to the conversation.
I do not love you
Sometimes, being in the grip of negative emotions, there is a desire to turn to your partner with a similar phrase. But you need to remember that, having declared your dislike, it is almost impossible to return to the “before” relationship.
Even if you later say that you were angry or hurt, the other person will have doubts about your true feelings. And this, of course, affects the bond between loved ones and undermines trust in the relationship.
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I want you to make more money
Even if you are barely making ends meet, you shouldn't tell your loved one that he is not earning enough. This is unlikely to help solve financial difficulties. But it is quite possible to cause resentment and discord in a relationship.
In such a situation, you can come up with constructive advice that will help your partner make positive changes in their professional activities and, as a result, solve financial difficulties. Money is generally a very sensitive topic, which should always be discussed from a position of love and understanding.
I do not care
Even if you are not particularly passionate about what your other half is saying, talking about your indifference is both offensive and dismissive at the same time. Such statements tell the person that his interests or needs are not important to the partner.
"Relax
Asking to “relax” in the midst of a tense conversation tends to exacerbate the situation. It is best to avoid using this expression whenever possible.
You're acting just funny
The ability to be heard, understood, accepted by a loved one is an important part of a healthy relationship. Statements such as “you are acting funny” or “you are acting ridiculous” demonstrate that the person is not ready to empathize. This often leads to confrontation with a partner, as it becomes necessary to prove that thoughts or feelings arising in a particular situation have a right to exist.
Trying to say something like that, you can approach from the position of "me", not "you." For example, use the expression "I don't understand why you think so."
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If you don't like it, go away
Ultimatums rarely help to achieve harmony in family relationships. Such a manipulative approach to solving a problem, when a person is faced with the choice of "all or nothing", leaves no opportunity to find a reasonable answer or a way out of the situation. It is easier to stop using such phrases than to smooth out the consequences of "destructive" dialogue later.
It's all your fault …
Shifting all the blame onto someone else is not the best way to deal with problems. It is extremely important for two people in a relationship to deal with difficult situations in a team, rather than assign responsibility to one of the partners.
Shut up
Never, under any circumstances, use such words. Partners in a relationship are equal, and everyone has every right to express their thoughts out loud.
If communication comes down to the fact that the phrases "shut up", "shut your mouth" are used, then the conversation is at an impasse. Take a break to calm down. Later, you will be able to discuss the problematic issue in a constructive manner.
