Most often, the fair sex does not have to think about how to show affection and tenderness. On the contrary, sometimes guys are embarrassed by the violent manifestation of the feelings of their friends. But it also happens that girls, especially very young and inexperienced ones, are too emotionally tight, impulsive and harsh. Psychologists believe that the reason for this unkindness lies in the upbringing of the girl. But if desired, it can change.
Instructions
Step 1
If you've decided that it might be a good idea to be a little more affectionate with your boyfriend, try to understand why you haven't been able to do it so far. What prevented you from expressing your feelings openly and directly? Perhaps some words or actions of the young man were holding you back? Or does the reason lie in yourself, in your attitude towards people in general? After analyzing the motives for your behavior, think about how you can change. Like any woman, inside you are affectionate and gentle, which means that you most likely need to overcome the psychological prohibition on expressing your feelings.
Step 2
You can try talking to your boyfriend and discussing your relationship. Would he like you to behave differently? Or, maybe, everything suits him, and you “wind up” yourself in vain? If he really does not like your isolation and coldness, he could express his expectations and wishes.
Step 3
A professional psychologist can help you change something in your character. Try together to understand the reasons for the unkindness and work out specific ways of your "correction", changing the stereotype of your behavior.
Step 4
Understand for yourself that every person wants to hear pleasant and good words addressed to him, especially from a loving woman. And if you really appreciate the guy and want to be with him, acknowledge the fact that you need to change a few things. However, keep in mind that gross flattery is unacceptable. It will look artificial and more likely to cause distrust and alienate your loved one.
Step 5
Affectionate and gentle words of a man and a woman understand differently. Anything that is good for girls may be misunderstood by guys. Therefore, before you say something to your loved one, think about it. There are enough words in Russian to express your feelings. You can even arm yourself with a dictionary or call on the Internet to help you find the right ones.
Step 6
Also, consider the place and time when you are talking to your boyfriend. Affectionate words in bed, in the office, or among friends cannot be the same.
Step 7
Try to keep track of your speech and intonation. First, rude vocabulary should be eliminated altogether. If you are tempted to say something caustic and caustic, restrain yourself and do not be rude. Secondly, it is necessary to remove the command notes and be sure to soften, to lower the timbre of your voice.
Step 8
If you haven't shown calf affection before, try starting with one word you've never said to your boyfriend. For example, "my dear", "my sun", "how I love you", etc. It may be difficult for you to do this at first.
Step 9
Force yourself to practice alone and in just a few days you will get used to it. And then - enter one more word into your vocabulary, then another …
Step 10
Usually people are more inclined to show affection for their smaller brothers. If possible, get yourself, for example, a kitten. The sight of this cute, helpless tiny creature will almost certainly encourage you to speak affectionate words. Trust me, your boyfriend deserves it just as much.
Step 11
Girls look affectionate and gentle, not only using some special words. This is also evident in their appearance. Pay attention to how you dress, what makeup you prefer, and even how you paint your nails. Agree that the look of a vamp woman is not very compatible with the concept of tenderness and female defenselessness. Of course, it's possible that your boyfriend likes this look.
