The most important thing is to learn how to communicate with your teenager on an equal footing. He may not always understand what you want to convey to him, but you need to explain it exactly as if you are sure of his ability to understand and analyze everything. Thus, you encourage the teenager to "reach" the level of adult communication, and this is very much appreciated by 13-15-year-olds.
Instructions
Step 1
Treat the teenager with respect, it is better to replace threats with a conditionally premium way of agreement. for example, instead of the phrase "You will not go outside while the room is a mess," use the option "You will definitely go for a walk, just clean your room first."
Step 2
Teens hate long, preachy lectures. In this regard, use demand phrases and reminder phrases and express them in a concise, rather impersonal, form. No need to tell how tired you are of constantly reminding him that you still need to prepare literature lessons. It is enough to casually look into the room and remind: "Literature".
Step 3
The same applies to ordinary daily affairs - make all statements as clearly, briefly, calmly as possible. And be sure to give the teenager time to react - at this age, children are not always able to react instantly, which generates a lot of conflicts. It will take 5 minutes - and your beloved child, by itself, without reminders, will complete all the points you have outlined.
Step 4
Remain calm whenever and wherever you are with your teenager. Do you want him to become smarter and more judicious? In this case, do not allow yourself to stoop to his level, shout and scold him, and even more so call him names. Adolescents are extremely vulnerable, the reaction of disobedience and aggression at this age often does not pursue the goal of committing any really aggressive action, but rather serves self-defense - behind the audacity, yesterday's child hides his vulnerable soul. Therefore, in situations of conflict, just give the teenager time - keep silent, go to the next room, expressing a desire to continue the conversation in calm tones.
Useless aggression, which does not find a response, goes away over time and gives way to more constructive ways of behavior.
