People strive for communication, building relationships in order to find understanding, love, care. But sometimes it happens that they turn out to be puppets. They just start to be manipulated.
Not all relationships are positive. Communication often brings only negative feelings. Psychologists call such communication toxic. If you are uncomfortable with your partner, you may be manipulated. Pay attention to the most common signs. If at least one of them is applicable to you, it's time to change something.
Emotional blackmail
This is a sign of one of the most brutal manipulative tactics. The manipulator plays on your feelings, blackmails, makes you believe that his fate or even the fate of many people depends on your behavior. "Without you, I will be lost", "I will feel bad and I will get sick", "if you leave, the children will be very upset, you will break their lives" - all these are phrases that manipulators like to throw around. Suicide threats are extremely violent forms of emotional blackmail. You cannot give in to such provocations. It is worth reminding a person that he himself bears responsibility for his life. If at least once you follow the lead, it will be difficult to get out of such a scenario later. Direct threats are also a variant of blackmail. "If you do this, I will leave," "you can go, but then you will not come back" - so say people who want to keep everything under control.
Do not understand what you talking about
Manipulators don't think that playing "I don't understand you" is a childish trick. Oddly enough, many people are led to such a provocation. If you find it difficult to talk with the interlocutor, he constantly moves away from the topic of the conversation, pretends that he does not understand what you are, you know, you are being manipulated. And this is done in order to get away from uncomfortable topics, to force you to talk only about interesting things for the interlocutor. In this case, your needs and feelings are devalued. Try to emphasize your question, rephrase the message. Better yet, keep this one-sided game to a minimum.
Shifting responsibility
Sometimes, when dealing with "toxic" people, there is a strange feeling of guilt. The mistake was made by the interlocutor, but for some reason it is you who consider yourself to be guilty. This is one of the common signs of manipulation. The person simply inspires you that unpleasant things have happened because of your actions. Such communication will not lead to anything good. Better to speak frankly or to end the relationship right away.
Sly provocations
In dealing with a manipulator, you will constantly encounter provocations. Such a person needs to evoke emotions in you, knock you off balance, drag you into an unnecessary quarrel. It seems that there was no reason for a dispute, but the scandal still took place. If you often come across this, you need to understand for yourself that this is manipulation. It will be easier to resist next time.
No time to think
The less time we have to make a decision, the better for the manipulator. Such a person will constantly push you to make rash decisions. It is important to recognize this in time and not fall for tricks. It is worth a couple of times to clearly and firmly ask not to rush. In most cases, the manipulation stops.
You've got something wrong with your memory
Another sign of manipulation is that your words are constantly being questioned. This disgusting trick is based on distorting past events and distorting facts in such a way that they present the manipulator in the most favorable light. "How, don't you remember that you said nasty things about me?" - says the one who wants to keep everything under his control. Often, manipulators give up their words and accuse you of poor memory. Don't fall for gimmicks. If everything is fine with your memory, stand your ground. Be sure you remember things as they are.
Big requests
When people often expect a lot of you, ask for favors that are difficult to accomplish, know that you are being manipulated. This is such a tricky move. High expectations do not allow you to relax, make you constantly think about not letting you down, not falling on your face in the dirt. As for the requests, everything is very well thought out here too. Not being able to accomplish something significant, you begin to feel guilty. And here the manipulator asks for something else, but smaller. In order to somehow make amends, you immediately agree. This is what they wanted from you from the very beginning.
Constant humiliation
If you constantly feel humiliated in a relationship, you are being manipulated. A partner or just a close person endlessly points out your mistakes, misdeeds. He may say that you never succeed. Why does he need it? To gain power over you, to make you believe that he is better than you, that all important decisions should be entrusted to him.
