The question of whether or not you can kiss your child's lips is of interest to many parents, since some families consider this ritual important for raising children. However, qualified specialists from the field of pediatrics, dentistry, virology, as well as child psychologists have their own points of view and evidence of whether this family "rite" should be eradicated, or, on the contrary, strengthened in the life of each individual family.
Why are most doctors opposed to adult relatives kissing children on the lips?
The opinion of pediatricians, virologists, infectious disease specialists and dentists, most often, is unequivocal - adults should not kiss on the lips of children. The position of these doctors has nothing to do with psychology. Multiple scientific studies confirm that in the saliva of an adult there is a huge amount of potentially dangerous microbes for a child, which, getting into a child's body when kissing on the lips, can provoke a number of serious diseases.
With the saliva of an adult, lactobacilli, fungi, herpes virus, caries and other causative agents of various viral and infectious diseases enter the child's body. Research by Finnish scientists has confirmed that 38% of children diagnosed with tooth decay at an early age acquired it from mothers who kiss their babies on the lips. Even though most of them maintain proper oral hygiene, children have suffered.
Among the provoked diseases of children were tonsillitis, herpes of the lips, herpetic stomatitis, ARVI, mononucleosis, and caries. This is not the whole list of unpleasant consequences that can happen to a child after kissing an adult, although a kissing parent, at the same time, may look completely healthy.
What psychologists say about kissing on the lips with children
Of course, the doctor specializing in child psychology, as well as his colleagues, look at the situation - from their "bell tower". But here, too, their opinions differ, and the issue of oral hygiene, as such, is not at all present in the arguments of child psychologists.
Some doctors believe that children should definitely be kissed on the lips, because this is an important manifestation of parental love and care. Such experts strongly recommend kissing a child on the lips, and more often hugging until the age of three, until the role-playing games used in raising children begin in the house. In particular, the doctor may say that kissing is allowed if the child asks for it, for example, during preparation for bed, when one of the parents finishes reading the evening fairy tale.
Another "camp" of psychologists, on the contrary, is of the opinion about the direct influence of such kisses on deviations in puberty and sexual education of children. They emphasize that if kissing on the lips, nevertheless, is present in the life of a family, then parents and children of opposite sexes should refrain from them in every possible way. As an example, they cite children who attend kindergarten. Accustomed to kissing on the lips, they can do it repeatedly with their peers.
Do not forget about children, who may simply be unpleasant to such touching, regardless of their age. The unformed psyche of each baby reacts differently to such a manifestation of feelings. Some children begin to repeat this practice not only with their parents, but also with grandfathers, grandmothers, and other close relatives, which, in fact, will force them to return to the first paragraph of the article to re-read the list of diseases that can be transmitted to children from adults when kissing in lips. Older children may see a hidden sexual connotation in this, which will lead to their isolation and psychological trauma, even if such experiences are, in fact, unfounded.
Kissing or not kissing on the lips of your child is a matter for each parent personally. However, before introducing such an educational "ritual" into family life, you should carefully weigh the pros and cons in the decision you make. And if, nevertheless, moms and dads cannot do without kisses, then they are simply obliged to monitor the normal mental and physical development of their children, while devoting a considerable amount of time to the hygiene of their oral cavity.