Puberty is a critical age, during which a complex restructuring of the child's body takes place, his worldview and sense of himself change. The consequence of this may be the appearance of various contradictions. Escaping a teenager from home is one of the most difficult problems that parents must solve together with psychologists.
Why do teens run away from home
Adolescence is the age of contradictions, the child either seeks to be like his peers, then does his best to prove his autonomy and uniqueness. It often seems to a teenager that no one understands or appreciates him, and especially his parents, who continue to perceive him as a baby. To prove his “adulthood”, to make him reckon with his opinion, a teenager can leave home. This act is a rebellion, a protest against the lack of understanding with parents. In such cases, the child can escape even from a very prosperous family environment.
Other reasons a child leaves home:
- ignoring the physical and psychological needs of the adolescent;
- unfavorable family situation;
- aggression or constant reproaches from the parents;
- scandals between parents;
- divorce of parents, remarriage, the appearance of a stepfather or stepmother, the birth of another child;
- excessive custody or complete lack of control;
- communication of a teenager with a "bad" company.
How to prevent possible leaving home
Do not wait for problems to appear, try to prevent them. The most dangerous psychological period is from 10 to 15 years. Remember that a child grows up, he needs not just love, but acceptance of his personality.
Parents, first of all, must accept the fact that the child has grown up, his opinion must be taken into account, relations with him must be built friendly, partnership. Try to eliminate the directive style of the relationship. Phrases like “As he said, so it will be”, “Here I decide” will lead to outbursts of protest from the adolescent.
Take an interest in the child's life, maintain equal relations with his friends, encourage their communication within the walls of the house - this way you will know better who is around your child. Consult with your teenager about various family issues - he should feel that you perceive him as an adult.
Try to make the child's life rich - encourage his undertakings, ideas. The more interesting his leisure is, the less time will be left for idleness and dangerous hobbies.
Listen to your child, do not discourage him from sharing his problems with phrases such as “I warned you”, “Everything is always wrong with you”. Appreciate his candor and be honest in return.
What to do if the child does run away
Having discovered an escape, you must immediately contact the police, capturing the latest photos of the child and a description of his clothes. Immediately start your search for the fugitive and on your own. If a teenager is not prone to vagrancy and has not contacted bad company, most likely he will show up with one of his relatives or friends.
Analyze the behavior of the teenager in the last days before the escape - with whom he talked, did he mention any problems. Talk to his friends - they may be aware of his plans, but it will be difficult to "extract" information from them.
When you find the child, do not try to force him back home. If you start to hold him against his will, hide things - you will only strengthen the teenager's desire to break out of the "prison".
Invite your child to negotiate. Avoiding reproaches, listen to his point of view and express yourself. Try to understand the child and admit your mistakes if you really made them. In conversation, emphasize that you love him, despite all the problems.
In the future, do not share the incident with relatives or friends. When things get better over time, the child may regret his behavior, but in the eyes of other people, he will remain "unlucky."
You will most likely need to seek the advice of a psychologist. He will help you analyze the family environment, determine the reasons for adolescent protest. Together, you can resolve all contradictions and bring peace back to your family.
