"If you are kind, that's good, but when on the contrary, it's bad!" - the famous cartoon character Leopold the Cat sings. And, it would seem, it is. But I remember the popular wisdom "Do not do good - you will not get evil." Indeed, it is not so rare that a benefactor receives black ingratitude in response to a good deed. And I think: maybe doing good is not always good?
To understand this, you must first determine what is good and what is evil, and this is sometimes very, very difficult. Absolute good, like absolute evil, does not exist in the world, everything is relative. Suffice it to recall one more proverb: "What is good for a Russian, death is for a German." Not everything that is good for one will be equally good for another.
Unkind good
How often a person hears during his life: “You need to do this and not otherwise. Listen to us, we wish you well. This is what parents say to a child, and friends, colleagues and bosses say this to an adult. And, as a rule, this is said in order to convince a person to do what he does not want at all at the moment.
It is good if such advisers lack selfish motives, which is not uncommon.
Perhaps the person will subsequently recognize and appreciate all the wisdom of this advice and thank those who directed him on the right path. But more often it happens in a different way: a person, stepping over his interests, follows the advice, but the result does not satisfy him. And he blames the adviser for his troubles and failures!
Another situation is not uncommon: a person really needs help and, it would seem, accepts it with gratitude, only after that, when things go well again, he suddenly stops communicating with the one who so in time offered him a friendly shoulder. And sometimes he starts to dislike him frankly. A good friend wonders: “What happened? What have I done wrong? After all, I did a good deed! " Nevertheless, the situation is not surprising: when communicating with his “benefactor,” a former loser recalls a situation in which he was weak and helpless, problems that he could not cope with on his own. A recent assistant becomes for him a "living reproach", a memory of dark days. Naturally, a person strives to get rid of such memories and unpleasant feelings, at least by limiting communication with those to whom he is obliged.
Good evil
Evil is also not so simple. Surgeons have a saying "To be kind, you have to be merciless." Indeed, a doctor, while assisting a patient, must make decisions that are sometimes quite tough, even cruel. Pity and excessive empathy in some cases can cause irreparable harm and even lead to the death of the patient.
But even in everyday life, a seemingly unseemly act can turn out to be a blessing. Here a man refuses to lend money to a friend or get a job in his company. On the one hand, he seems callous and insensitive. But if a friend asks for money regularly, and then also regularly “forgets” to return it, won't the refusal push him to look for independent ways to solve his material problems? And having hired a good acquaintance or friend, does not a person risk ruining relations with him if he is obviously sure that he will not be able to cope with the work?
Or parents, limiting the child in his actions, making demands on him, controlling his life - don't they deprive the growing personality of freedom? But a child who grew up in an atmosphere of permissiveness, with a high probability, will not be able to become a responsible, decent person - after all, he is used to doing only what he likes, regardless of others.
Perhaps the most correct solution would be to interfere in the lives of only those people for whom a person is responsible - children, the elderly, the sick, and only in those cases if it is really necessary.
Sometimes it is rather difficult to determine the degree of necessity and the degree of usefulness of an action.
And at the same time, one must think not about one's own convenience, but about the welfare of the ward. Adult capable people must solve their problems on their own, you can help them if there is a desire and opportunity, and only if they themselves ask for it. And even doing a good deed, one should not expect gratitude for it, reciprocal good deeds and other "dividends".
