Most often, this habit manifests itself at the time of laying: a small child winds her mother's hair on her finger, fiddles, pulls, or even pulls out by the roots. This behavior can be annoying and painful for the mom. Why is this happening?
What reasons make a child squeeze mom's hair
It often happens that a small child certainly needs to play with mom's hair in order to calm down and fall asleep. And if you take away what he wants, he begins to get angry and capricious, going to any trick to get to his hair. Psychologists see the following motives for this behavior: perhaps the child does not have enough attention and tactile closeness with his parents, he is worried and worried about something, or he thinks that in this way he consolidates the ownership of the mother.
But there is another explanation: all primate cubs instinctively grab the female's fur, moving around, warming up or thus avoiding danger. And women have long been stripped of their fur, but the instinct of young children still provokes them to grab their mother's hair.
By grabbing mom's hair or biting her, the baby can simply "experiment" with inflicting pain, observing the reaction. You must immediately let him know that you do not like it, and patiently stop such attempts.
How to deal with this behavior of a child
Supporters of soft parenting methods may advise to leave everything as it is and just endure. However, the baby's habit of squeezing the mother by the hair can gain a foothold, and if it is unpleasant for the mother, it is unlikely that she should endure it, following the lead of the child. Children constantly check the boundaries of what is permissible and can go far in their claims and actions, and it will no longer be easy to deal with a persistently formed bad habit.
There are no universal ways to eradicate the child's habit of pulling mom's hair, suitable for absolutely everyone. You can try to gently but confidently remove the child's hand from your hair. Alternatively, braid your hair in a ponytail or bun, or wear a scarf or hat. Perhaps a lullaby, swaying and stroking the baby will be enough to relax and fall asleep.
Offer your child a replacement for mom's hair - a stuffed toy, doll, or silk cloth. This will help you figure out what exactly the baby is missing: parental intimacy or some tactile sensations.
Sometimes it is suggested "for educational purposes" to pull the child's hair back, so that he understands that it is unpleasant. However, this lesson can be wasted and lead to a very different outcome: by demonstrating unwanted behaviors that adults themselves would like to prevent, they send a contradictory and confusing message to the child. It is better to be sincere in expressing feelings and not cause cognitive dissonances in the crumbs, even if you have to explain to him several times what exactly is unpleasant for you. It is also important not to be rude, screaming or irritated.