Our society is arranged in such a way that, by definition, only a mother should take care of a newborn child, and dad at the initial stage is left on the sidelines. In fact, this is a big mistake that almost all couples make.
You need to gradually accustom your dad to help from the very first days. It is recommended to do this carefully, without reproaches and complaints, since the appearance of a child is not only a happy event for a man, but also a certain shock. During this period, he is overwhelmed with emotions that range from joy, love and delight to detachment and even coldness.
In order for your husband to help in upbringing, you need to explain to him that without him it is difficult for you to cope with the piled load and you need rest. But at the same time, do not forget that the husband is also tired, and you need to act not with complaints and reproaches, but exclusively with affection. Also, you do not need to immediately blame him on everything related to caring for the baby, since at first men are afraid to take the child in their arms because of his fragility and diminutiveness.
Another problem that can arise is that all the attention from relatives and friends is given to mom and child, while dad is left on the sidelines. At the same time, very often a man is repelled from a child by mothers or grandmothers themselves with phrases that make him doubt his abilities: "you can drop him", "you can get him dirty", "you came from the street and you can infect him." Agree, this will not add enthusiasm, and the man will prefer to withdraw himself. After that, there is no need to be surprised or complain that the husband does not help with the child - you yourself do not accept help.
In order for a husband to start helping, you do not need to immediately dump on him "dirty" things, such as changing a diaper, you need to start with pleasant procedures - walking with the baby, bathing, lullaby before going to bed. Moreover, the man works and gets tired and after returning home wants to rest a little before the coming work day, and not start a new job.
Another mistake that women often make is that after a man begins to take an active part in caring for a newborn, women leave the child with dad alone for several hours. And at this time something can happen that mothers are used to and it will not surprise them or scare them, but for dad it will be a real shock. Increase your absence time gradually.
If a man makes mistakes, in no case scold him, do not criticize his actions, but show what and how he is doing wrong, if necessary, accompany it with a joke. Criticism does not inspire enthusiasm in anyone and only repulses.
Dad's involvement should not be limited to leaving, he should also raise the child, and all aspects of parenting should be discussed in advance. This is especially true of what can be done to the child, and what is not allowed, so that in the future there are no disputes in his presence. Arguments will lead to the fact that the man will simply refuse to raise and shift this responsibility to you, and this is completely wrong, since both parents should have a positive influence on personality development.
In conclusion, I would like to say that the process of introducing the Pope to the care and upbringing of the child should be gradual, with the use of affection and in no case reproaches, complaints and hysterics. Only in this case you will achieve harmony and will not harm either the child or family relations.
