Slapping, slap on the head is definitely prohibited in dealing with children. Thousands of articles have been written about this and they speak at every step. But there are many other ways to hurt a child without physical impact.
Do not humiliate
Never humiliate a child. Especially in front of other people. It seems to us that at such a moment we look like good parents, worried about the future of our children. But if what really matters to you is how your children grow up, then stop humiliating them forever. “In whom are you so crooked? I have never seen such nonsense. Who needs such a freak? - that inner pain and shame that children experience at this moment will be imprinted on their psyche for life. Children expect support and help from the closest people in the world. By humiliating children, we let them know that we not only refuse to support them, but we ourselves are a threat.
Do not betray
When, for example, a father leaves the family, and at the same time his stepsons become more important than their own children: he is ready to do everything for them, but he does not want to know his relatives. This is especially difficult for children who were attached to their father, with whom they had a good relationship, as they believed.
Or another example, on the street the kid burst into tears, the people around him make remarks to him, because he interferes with them. And the mother, instead of taking the side of the child or at least taking a neutral position, also begins to scold or shame the child.
Children are just learning to live in this world, for them the feeling of security and home is important, where you can always return and be safe. In a situation of betrayal, they understand that they have no one to turn to, they are not needed by anyone and are not important the way they want.
Stay out of your privacy
First of all, this applies to adolescents. They are taking their first steps in adulthood, and any careless word, comment or doubt can cause unpleasant painful feelings. It is especially terrible if parents secretly read the child's correspondence, and then punish them if they do not like something. To let the life of your teenager take its course, of course, is not worth it. But it is also impossible to impose or force to tell everything. Ideally, if you have developed a relationship of trust even before adolescence. But if not, you have to work now.
But even younger children can have their own personal lives. For example, your own room or at least a shelf in the closet. Your personal books, toys to which others have limited access.
Don't promise what you can't fulfill
Dad promised to come for the weekend, but apparently forgot to clarify which ones. You promised that you would give a phone for your birthday, and then you changed your mind. Before going out for a walk, they promised ice cream, and then you became too lazy to go to the store. With each such incident, you undermine your child's trust in you. He understands that you cannot be relied on, that it is better not to share personal and important things with you, because you will deceive again. And believe me, this loss of intimacy will come back to haunt you many times in the future.
Of course, it is difficult to predict all situations, one way or another, from time to time we have to break our promises. But in such cases, you must sincerely apologize and explain the reason. Even if your baby seems too small for you. It's better to start building honest and open relationships from the very beginning.
