If you are going to connect your life with a man who was previously married and already has children, be prepared for them to become a part of your life too. Do not panic and get upset ahead of time. Building good relationships with step children is not that difficult. Moreover, their father is your beloved man.
Do not try to take the place of the mother in the life of the stepchild. He has his own mother, whatever she is in your eyes. In his heart, she will always be the best and only one. Do not criticize her in a conversation with your child, try to listen and agree with everything that he says about her. You, too, will find a place in his heart, if you want to become a true friend to him.
There is no need to curry favor and satisfy all the whims and requests of the child. He will immediately understand how you can be manipulated, and your life will turn into an endless nightmare of demands. Try to discuss any problems that arise in the family council in the presence of the dad. Do not keep silent about the negative situation, this will only aggravate the situation. Talk openly and calmly about things that don't suit you.
With your spouse, try not to focus your attention only on each other in the presence of the child, no matter how much you want. Plan all activities together, consult and ask the child's opinion. Let him feel that he is not superfluous in your life, that he has another older friend who cares about his opinion.
Try not to ignore the child. The quiet "policy of non-intervention" hurts, makes you come up with different versions of what is happening. Cold indifference is perceived by the child's psyche very painfully.
If your child's dad only picks up on weekends and holidays, try to be part of those short dates. Act as an organizer of entertainment and joint trips. Most often, conflicts occur precisely because you do not want to share your man with his child. In this case, you do not have to share anything.
If you have your own child from a previous marriage, you need to raise your husband's child in the same way as your own. Never let your step child understand that he means much less to you than his own. The trust and respect of a child can only be won by hard work and fair treatment.
