There are some interesting tips on how to properly raise your child. Of course, they are not universal, since all children are unique in their own way. But, nevertheless, there are some things that are absolutely definitely contraindicated in the case of communication with all children. So, a little about what parents shouldn't do.
Instructions
Step 1
You can't humiliate a child. For example, a mother can say in her hearts: "Well done!" Of course, with irony. Or, for example, “Couldn't you have come up with something more interesting? Do you have a head or not? " With these humiliations, you are killing yourself as a good parent in the eyes of your child.
Step 2
No need to threaten the child. For example, the phrase "Once again - and you will get it!", "Stop it, or I will punish!" Each such threat is a brick in the wall of your child's hatred and fear of you. Remember, threats are completely useless. They will never improve behavior.
Step 3
No need to extort promises from the child. This is familiar to absolutely all parents. For example, a child naughty, and his mother tells him something like the following phrase: "You must promise me that this will never happen again, and then I will forgive you." Of course, she gets the promise. But then a few days or even hours pass, and the child again did the same. Of course, my mother screamed: “You promised!”. She just doesn't know that such a promise means nothing to a small child. Small children live in the present. What is extortion of promises? These are just stones that will crush the child's conscience if he is sensitive. But if he is not like that, then he will become a cynic.
Step 4
You don't need to be overly protective. Guardianship teaches a child to think that he is not self-reliant. Most parents simply underestimate the abilities of their children. Remember, as a rule - "Do not do for the child what he himself can do."
Step 5
Also, you cannot demand obedience from the child. For example, your wife or your husband says to you: “Quickly leave all your business and make me breakfast / bring coffee / go to the store. Like it? Of course not. Just the same, your child will not like it. It is best to warn in advance: “Be ready, eat / walk / sleep in half an hour. Submission makes a child not a person, but a puppet in life.
Step 6
You can't indulge a child. Children automatically sense if a parent is afraid to be firm with them. This fear of saying “no” gives them confidence that for them all the rules are simply being canceled. It is possible that within the family it suits everyone - the child gets everything he wants, and the parents fulfill all his whims. But what will happen outside the family circle? Only disappointment, because there, in the world and in society, no one will indulge him, and he, in turn, will think that the world is unfair to him.
Step 7
Be consistent. What does it mean? Everything is very simple. Suppose you are in a good mood on Sunday and allow your child to break some of the rules. Great, the child is happy, he is glad that he has such a parent. But then the beginning of the week comes, there are problems at work, you come home, and there the child still breaks the rule. What is your reaction? Unleash all your anger on him. Imagine the child's reaction for a second. Here you are learning to drive a car. Imagine that from Monday to Wednesday the red light means “stop”, and from Thursday to Sunday “you can go”. It's complicated. Disorder and chaos in prohibitions and permissions are unacceptable.
Step 8
You cannot demand from a child what he can do according to his age. Do not expect a toddler at the age of two to listen to you as if he is five years old. But, if you are waiting, then get ready for the fact that the child will only feel dislike for you. In addition, such actions and expectations negatively affect his self-awareness and development.
Step 9
Do not deprive the child of the right to be him. Think for a second that you are a pedagogical genius. You raised your child to be quiet, respectful, calm and obedient. He is highly moral, accurate, he does not deceive and does not experience negative feelings. But then think - is it a child? Maybe it's a small adult? However, he is definitely not happy. He hid his true self under the mask that you put on him by your upbringing as a little gentleman. After all, this is a child.
Step 10
No need to read morals. Every day, children hear hundreds of reprimands and remarks in their direction. If you take mom, one day, her child and a tape recorder, record and show mom all the recorded lines, she will be amazed. A whole collection! Reproaches, threats, grunts, taunts, lectures, lectures, and more. The child simply "turns off" under such pressure, because this is his protection, which he very quickly learns and applies. As a result, all your morals boil down to something like this scenario: “You are bad, because what you did is very bad, therefore you are bad. Is this gratitude for what I did for you? You are bad and you blah blah blah."
