In family life, it is hard not only for adults, but also for children. It is especially difficult when the stepmother is in the house. Children who have lost one parent try to idealize the other. In general, children consider divorce a temporary phenomenon and dream that soon their family will be reunited. But then a new mom or a new dad comes into the house. How should they treat their step children?
You shouldn't try to act like a mother or a father, because this is the most common mistake. The child must be treated well, but the boundaries cannot be crossed. The respect, trust and love of a child cannot be obtained in the first week. It is necessary to establish contact gradually, and then the child, if he wants to get to know each other better, will take a step forward.
It is necessary to spend as much time as possible on communication with the child, and in this communication it is necessary to get to know him. The child is neither an enemy nor an ally, but simply a person who needs to be treated kindly.
Bad relationships between non-native family members destroy family origins. Very often, the main reason for this is the enormous tension between them. Tension automatically affects the relationship between spouses, and the resulting conflicts are always resolved by “step-parents” differently than with their own children. For example, if there is a conflict between a stepfather and a stepson, he most likely will not scold him, beat him, offend or force him to do the right thing, but he may do all this in relation to his children. Why? Such behavior towards the stepson is regarded as an attempt to drive him out of the house.
Therefore, the child should be punished by the biological parent. It so happens that parents blame themselves for having divorced, and, as a result, making amends to the child, they allow him too much. In this situation, it is also not worth interfering, but giving the biological parents the opportunity to make a decision.
There are also known cases when, after a divorce, a child is brought up very strictly. The reason for this severity is the fear that the child may become uncontrollable after the parents divorced. But, if the biological parent pampers the child too much, he, of course, will expect the same from the adoptive parent.
If a stepfather or mother wants to improve family relationships, they must remember that they will never replace real parents. You also need to be prepared for the child to scandal and show their rights to the biological parent, whom they want to take away.
