In cafes, nightclubs, or dating sites, you often see people who seem interesting to you in terms of possible relationships. But making the first contact is not as easy as it seems. It is important to show not only delicacy, but also perspicacity. Sometimes it's better to immediately understand that a person is not suitable than trying to plunge headlong into a hopeless romance.
Consider a list of taboo questions
There are a number of issues that should not be raised at the beginning of a conversation. Illness, setbacks in personal life, a recent breakup with a loved one are not the best topics for first dates. Questions that are too personal are also worth leaving for later. Discussion of finances and financial situation may also be inappropriate at the beginning of a novel.
Make a list of important criteria for choosing a life partner for you
No matter how people hide it, the issues of the social status of a partner worry them quite strongly. Therefore, in a soft and delicate form, it is better to immediately find out what religion a person adheres to, whether he has an education, what are his career plans.
Do not ask about the psychological properties "head-on". But to get at least a general idea of a person is worth it. American psychologist George Kelly, through long-term research, proved that the number of important criteria for choosing friends, business partners and lovers is not very large. It is described by the principle of seven plus or minus two. Make a list of important qualities of a future partner and group it into five to seven combinations. Begin to become interested in the behaviors and life principles that illustrate these qualities. And leave a more detailed study of the character of the interlocutor for later.
Remember your life lessons
There is such a thing as “family scenarios”. People tend to repeat them from meeting to meeting. Some women, after a divorce from an alcoholic, swear to themselves that in life they will not communicate with a drinking person. And suddenly their new boyfriend turns out to be just that. Men who attract mercantile and cold women can renounce communication with them as much as they want. And they themselves go exactly to the places where there are most of them. Without giving away your pain and worries about repetitive scenarios, try from afar, indirectly probing the situation for the presence of qualities in your counterpart that you definitely do not want to accept in a partner. Questions about leisure and holiday activities can be helpful in identifying alcohol addictions. Discussions about popular shopping places are also quite appropriate for the first meeting, they do not raise suspicion among women, but show their attitude towards money and spending.
The main thing in communication when trying to get acquainted is tactfully and correctly finding out how much a person suits you. But remember: all these rules will be completely unnecessary if you both visit love at first sight. In the presence of great mutual sympathy, all norms and rules of secular communication fade into the background.
