Usually the very concept of "family" automatically implies the desire of both spouses to have a child (or several children). But sometimes it also happens that the wife dreams of a child, and this causes stubborn objections from the spouse. Moreover, under a variety of pretexts, both convincing and frankly strained. And in all other matters between loving people there is complete mutual understanding, they love each other and consider their marriage to be happy, successful. How can this problem be solved?
This is not an easy question, since it is necessary to take into account all the circumstances and arguments of the husband. For example, in the life of a married couple there really are times when they should wait with the birth of a child, as a rule, due to financial and domestic troubles. But what if everything seems to be in order with finances, and the housing issue has been resolved, and the age of the spouses is no longer the youngest, and the husband is not ready?
One can understand the bewilderment, annoyance, and sometimes burning resentment of the wife. But even in such a situation, in no case should she resort to reproaches, scandals, especially to become pregnant in spite of her husband (for example, assuring him that she is still taking birth control pills). Since it is very important that the child is desirable in the full sense of the word! And if the husband feels deceived, it will hardly be possible.
It is much better to calmly, judiciously talk with your loved one about this delicate topic. We must try to get a frank answer: what confuses (or worries) the husband, why he does not want a child. And depending on the answer, decide how to proceed. For example, if he fears that the appearance of a baby will dramatically worsen the financial situation of the family (after all, the wife will not be able to work, new expenses will inevitably appear, etc.), it is worth asking him to calculate the family budget together, outline how it will be possible to reduce expenses. Men love specifics, and this approach will surely cause a positive response from the husband.
There are young people in whom the paternal instinct seems to "sleep" and does not awaken immediately. That is, a spouse can sincerely love his spouse, but at the same time not understand: what, in fact, is so good about these babies, helpless, crying, noisy, taking a lot of time and effort! A visit to relatives or friends who have a small child often helps here - an object of paternal pride and adoration. Having watched how the happy daddy fiddles with the baby, the husband may well change his point of view.
If behind the unwillingness to have a baby lies the selfishness of a man, a stubborn unwillingness for the wife to give at least someone else time, care, love, this is a really difficult case. Here you can only regret it. Most likely, she should divorce and look for another who is not afraid of the role of the father.
