Remarriage is inherently difficult, but even more difficult when a woman is about to marry a man whose first wife has died. In such a difficult situation, there can be room for emotional problems, as there is some kind of imaginary competition with the deceased wife. On the soil of fantasy, a seed of uncertainty is sown about the place a woman occupies in her husband's heart. Before deciding on a serious step, think - are you ready to marry a widower?
Of course, entering into marriage, each of the partners takes into a new life "baggage of memories" associated with his past life.
What to prepare for when deciding to marry a widower?
In addition to knowing the delicate features of grief, a woman should have some information set out in several rules.
1. You need to accept the past, not hide from it. The ideal model of the relationship of such a difficult union is when a man and a woman have confidential conversations on absolutely all topics, including the grief experienced by a man - the death of his first wife. Showing respect for the experience of the drama that once happened in the life of her beloved, a woman acts not only noble, but also wise.
2. You need to come to terms with memories. If the decision to marry a widower has been made, you should be prepared for the fact that sometimes the husband will remember aloud about his deceased wife. It is foolish in this case to be jealous or to show your dissatisfaction in any other form, because from the memories of your dead wife, love for you will not diminish.
3. Personal belongings. If we are already talking about a couple living together, then a compromise must be found in solving a delicate issue - the personal belongings of the deceased wife. Naturally, a man-widower who cherishes the memory of the deceased keeps some of her things. But if this fact causes confusion or is simply unpleasant for the current chosen one, you should discuss this with your husband, but action requires caution, and making a final decision is a manifestation of mercy.
4. Set clear boundaries and limits. It is necessary to tactfully make it clear to the man-widower: the woman with whom he plans to tie his future cannot be his constant "vest", but at the same time explain that you share his misfortune with him. The feelings of both partners are important, and the woman deserves respect and understanding. This is what should be brought to the attention of the chosen one.
5. If necessary, do not neglect the help of a specialist. Sometimes it happens that personal irritability is added to the onslaught of regular negativity from the husband, and the woman simply does not know how to cope with her emotions: on the one hand, constant conversations about her past life have become unpleasant, on the other hand, the husband is not to blame for anything, he survived the tragedy and shares his grief. In this case, it is better for a woman to seek help from a psychologist, because the issue is quite delicate and a family conflict on its basis threatens with subsequent mistrust on the part of her husband.
Some women who are in a relationship with a widower are in no hurry to get married due to their unwillingness to be constantly compared to the deceased first wife of their chosen one. And for some, the previous life of the beloved does not matter at all. Such women need to create new memories with their husbands, thanks to which he will understand that life is not over, but on the contrary, is just beginning. Next to a new woman.
