Unfortunately, our closest people often hurt us the most. According to psychologists, children's grievances against their parents are not forgotten for the rest of their lives. What are the most often offended children?
Unwillingness to reckon with the opinion of the child
This is one of the most common reasons for resentment. Parents do not know how or do not want to take into account the opinion of the child, force him to obey, whether they speak disrespectfully about his opinion (for example, "You never know what you want!"). All this remains in the memory for life.
Injustice
Condemning a loved one for what you did not do is a very heavy burden. Unfortunately, parents often scold, punish, or simply condemn their child for those acts that he did not commit. If you realize that you have punished your child in vain, be sure to tell him about it and apologize. Even if it was a long time ago. Such things are not forgotten.
Betrayal
This is something that many children never forget. Broken promises, revealing the child's secrets to other people, ridiculing his attachments - such actions of an adult break lives and violate basic trust in the world. And relations with parents will not return to their previous level.
Indifference
Attitudes towards a child according to the principle of "do what you want, I don't care" often cause serious psychological trauma for the rest of your life. Removal from the affairs of a child, from his hobbies and affections, offends no less than prohibitions or dictatorship. The child is lost in the world, he feels himself useless and worthless.
Comparison with others
Nobody likes the comparison. And in a child, such an attitude can cause the loss of his own self. Why should he be like others? Especially if the comparison is constantly made not in favor of the child. He gradually gets used to the fact that he is worse than others. The consequences of this are low self-esteem and a broken destiny.
Deception
Sometimes parents cheat "for the good", as they think. But trust in a close adult is one of the components of the development of a harmonious personality. The revealed deception (and the secret always becomes apparent, as we remember) knocks the child out of the rut of a quiet life and causes despair and discontent with the parents. Deceived hopes for many years fall on the shoulders of the little man.
Lack of faith in the child
Even many loving parents sin with this. “Let me do it for you”, “You won't succeed”, “Let me help” are not such innocent phrases as it might seem at first. You need to help at the request of the child. And the phrases “Who will need you, such a clumsy,” - can remain in the child's head for the rest of his life, and seriously affect his future life, far from being for the better.
Protect your children from your bad mood, from your fatigue at work. A passing phrase can seriously affect his entire future destiny. There are grievances that are forgotten. But many words of parents remain in our memory for many years. Therefore, every minute, every second you need to control your language and clearly understand what consequences your words can have. And don't forget to apologize to the little person. This is very important for him.
