Probably, many are familiar with the situation when, upon refusal to buy something, or as if from scratch, the child suddenly falls into the dirtiest puddle in the store and begins to scream heart-rendingly. A crowd of grandmothers gathers right there, lamenting: "What a cruel mother, she didn't buy a candy for the baby, ay-ay-ay!" Many parents feel shame and guilt at such moments and rather buy what they want for their child, if only he would shut up. Someone just grabs the baby in their arms and leaves, forgetting about all the cases. And someone begins to publicly scold the child. How to behave in such cases?
Baby tantrums are a quick way to get what you want. They begin at about 1, 5 years old and can continue until adolescence. Children feel very well their parents and put pressure on their most painful points, for example, shame.
The desires of young children are spontaneous: I see - I want. Due to a small vocabulary, as well as due to the fact that the mother herself guessed the child's desires for a long time (she is crying, which means she wants to eat or the diaper is wet), a 2-3-year-old child can throw a tantrum just because the mother does not guessed his desire. And desires can sometimes be very interesting. For example, a mother put butter in a basket, and a child threw a tantrum. It turned out that he wanted to do it himself. But my mother didn’t guess.
From 1, 5 years of age, a child should be taught to express in words his desires: "I can't guess what you want, tell me in words, please." If the child still does not know how to speak, then he may well point, for example, to juice or cookies on the table.
Before going to the store, you need to voice your plan to the baby, prepare it, for example: “We will now go with you to the store. There we will buy milk, bread, butter, and then you can choose any 2 juices for yourself. But we won't buy sweets and toys today. Thanks to such preparation, most likely, the child will no longer look at all the shelves, because we are going for juice!
If the hysteria did happen, then you need to go down to the level of the child, squat down, and mirror him, describe his feelings: “I see you are very upset and offended that I did not buy you candy, but I cannot do this now do. As soon as you are ready, come to me, I will pity you. Sometimes it may take a child a while to calm down. Let him cry or get angry, do not drown out his feelings.
When we describe the feelings and experiences that the child is currently experiencing, we let him know that we understand him. And this is very important even for toddlers. And when they see it, they calm down quickly enough.
