Time flies by, and very soon your kid will put on a uniform, take a backpack and go to school to gain knowledge. For some children, this is a long-awaited and joyful event, but for others it is a test. But why does the child categorically refuse to go to school?
Many adults remember with warmth how they were preparing to go to school: they chose a uniform, a portfolio and other attributes of a future student. As children, they were waiting for that moment to come, because becoming a schoolboy meant that they had moved to another level, became more mature and more serious. Today, many children of 6-7 years old want to go to school, but more and more children are found who are categorically against or afraid of the onset of this event.
Why doesn't the child want to go to school?
In order to help your child prepare for school and motivate him to study, it is necessary to understand the reasons for the child's lack of desire to go to school. The main reasons include:
- Formation by parents of a negative attitude towards school in a child. No, this does not mean that parents constantly tell their toddler how bad school is. But they can do it unconsciously, for example, if the child is slowly getting ready, the parents tell him: "But no one will wait for you at school!" Or, if the child is very naughty, they say to him: "At school they will definitely punish you for this" or "The teacher will not tolerate your antics and will immediately put you in place." Thus, the child develops an attitude towards school as a place where he will be constantly punished. Who wants to go to a place like this?
- Formation by parents of an attitude towards school as a place where the child will be unsuccessful. The peculiarity of self-esteem of children in preschool age is that they believe that they can do everything and they are "knee-deep". When a child becomes a schoolboy, a change in self-esteem occurs, since at school the child is given marks, he begins to compare himself with others. But a change in a child's self-esteem can happen earlier, during the period of active preparation for school. If a child does not succeed in something, then adults often say the phrases: "And how will you go to school if you cannot do anything?", "With such success, you will receive only two marks at school!" or "With such success in school you will be the worst student!" Naturally, the child's self-esteem falls, and he does not want to go to a place where he will be the worst.
- The influence of older children. If the older child has difficulties in learning, and the parents actively reprimand him for poor grades in front of the younger, then the latter may get the impression that the same fate awaits him. Plus, the older child can share with the younger his difficulties in learning at school, tell what evil and bad teachers, rude classmates and, in general, "school sucks".
- Too active preparation. At the age of 6-7 years, many parents begin active intellectual preparation of their child for school. Preschooler courses, foreign language lessons, speed reading, mental arithmetic, plus circles and sections for harmonious development, and the child is so tired that the thought that school will be added to all this leads him to despondency and sadness.
- The child lives too well at home. Some parents are so preoccupied with creating a "paradise" for the child inside the house that the child does not want to leave it. After all, they love him at home, give him toys, pay a lot of attention, protect him from various difficulties, forgive all pranks, fulfill any whims, and outside of “paradise” he will have to follow school rules, obey a strict teacher, learn to interact with classmates, that is, real “hell". For such “loved” children, adaptation to school is usually very difficult and painful, and low academic performance is often observed.
How to motivate a child to go to school?
There are a number of recommendations that will allow parents to relieve their fear of school, form a positive image of it and motivate them to go to school:
- About school - only positively. Try not to talk about school in a negative way, not to scare the child. You can share with your child your experience and positive emotions about the school, talk about how the first of September went, what the first teacher was. It is advisable to tell a couple of funny stories from school life. At the same time, everything should sound as believable as possible.
- Read books about school with your child, watch cartoons (especially in this regard, Soviet cartoons are good), study the rules of behavior at school, how classes will be held, how you can behave in class. The more the child knows, the less uncertainty that scares him.
- Play school: let him be a student, a teacher. You can collect a portfolio: what is useful at school and what is not.
- An excellent step would be to visit the school in which he will study with the child, introduce him to the teacher, show him the classroom in which the lessons will take place.
- Try to involve the child as much as possible in preparing for school. Let him choose a backpack, pencil case, uniform, textbook covers, pens, pencils and other stationery.
- To remind more often that school is an important stage, that being a schoolboy is good and honorable, that having started going to school, a child becomes more mature and smarter.
- Do not compare the child with other children of the same age: “Dasha already counts integrals, but you cannot even count 3 + 2”. Children aged 6-7 years develop unevenly, and for someone it is enough to see once to master, while someone needs much more time. Therefore, it is important to praise the child for his success, motivating him to study further: “Before you could read syllables, but now you read almost like an adult. Well done, that you are trying, keep it up! ".
If you do not aggravate the situation, in time to identify the reason for the child's unwillingness to go to school and take action, then it will be easier for him to adapt at school and start successfully mastering the program. It is important to remember that the future success of the child largely depends on the parents, including their support and faith in his strength.
