Every child, coming into our world, does not carry any bad intentions with him, but why then, over time, he suddenly has friends that his parents have not heard of? Why do these same friends become closer to children than the parents themselves?
Educators argue that adolescents often try to make friends with a child that is unusual in character with him. To put it simply, the shy, insecure and squeezed girl will follow on the heels of the one who, at the age of fourteen, went through fire and water. A fearful guy will be friends with a brave boy, and an obedient guy will be friends with a bully. Of course, parents, having learned about such a friendship, begin to worry: whether their child will begin to be manipulated and used to their advantage. Will the child turn from quiet and calm to unruly and arrogant?
Ways to solve problems
Sadly, many parents make the same mistake in such cases: they forbid the child to be friends and play with some children. Is it possible to achieve results in this way? You can, if the parental authority is incredibly high. But, in most cases, children begin to do everything in spite of their parents, since their own contradiction rules them. The child simply stops telling his parents about where he was, who he was with and what he was doing, that is, the parents become poorly informed. Such a "secret" or "shadow" friendship is an incredibly exciting activity that is filled with adventure and secrecy, and what child would refuse adventure and the opportunity to lead a "double" life?
Instead of prohibitions, you can use another, more effective method: allow the child to be friends, and this must be done from the heart, no matter how hard it is. It is impossible to prejudice all the new friends of the child, because the new friend only for the first time looks conflicted and uncontrollable, but in fact it turns out to be a wonderful person. Try to look at your child's new friends from a different angle and try to find something nice and attractive in them (after all, your child saw something in them). But if it is actually teenage criminals who come to your house, do not drive them out if you let them in, and do not worry. Explain your opinion to your child. By the way, it should be noted for the reassurance of parents - children's friendship in most cases is fleeting. Sometimes you have to wait, and the situation will "resolve" itself. For example, after vacations, travels or camps.
Switching interests
It also happens that your child simply does not have enough interests and hobbies in life, and there, in that company, he is offered "friendship to the grave", adventures, adventures and risks. Some children, for example, try to go as far away from home as possible, because it is interesting for them. Someone is engaged in quieter affairs in the company of friends - lighting fires, walking through the forests. Someone tries to ride a motorcycle so as not to be considered a weakling. As you can see, there are many opportunities to get a thrill, as well as ways to assert yourself.
You need to try to switch the child to some activity that would fully satisfy his craving for adventure. For example, it can be sections such as volleyball, boxing, rock climbing, skydiving. But, in addition to such extreme sports, there are also speleology, archeology and tourism clubs. It is much better when a child, for example, climbs the rocks and goes on a hike under the supervision and guidance of an instructor, than disappears into unknown where and with whom.
What if the child is already in bad company?
If a child is "involved" with a bad crowd, it is necessary to find a reason for this. Often in such a company there is a child who feels like an outcast - they do not understand at home, despise in class … What else can he do? Just make friends with hooligans: be surprised and envious!
Feel the ground: is your child really comfortable with friends, or is he friends with them in spite of others? Most likely, he himself is dissatisfied with such a friendship, and there is no one to ask for help, or it is simply scary. In this case, let him know that you will not scold him in any way, so that he knows that you will accept him anyway.
