All children and girls and boys fight in childhood. A fight is both a way of self-defense, and self-affirmation, and achieving what you want. Not every fight needs an adult to intervene. But you definitely need to figure out what kind of fight it is, and how dangerous it is for the participants in the fight.
If a two-year-old child fights, then most often he defends his right to own a toy. Children under three years old see a toy only in the hands of another person, see how he acts with it, and they want to get this toy without fail, not paying attention to the fact that there is exactly the same on the shelf next to it. Therefore, in this case, you need to show the child the presence of the same toy and demonstrate how to act with it.
It happens that at the same age a child tries to hit mom or dad, but this happens if he has already used all other methods of attention to himself. The child has no goal to hurt his parents, he only wants to be played with or talked to. It is better for kids to demonstrate correct behavior without using a fight: ask for a toy, call out loudly for mom, regret, stroke, and not hit.
Once a toddler learns to speak, the need to use a fight as a way to interact with other people becomes less attractive to him.
Older children, about five or six years old, already want to conduct experiments: does the shoulder blade hurt on the head; what happens if you push a peer on the carpet or on the floor. In this case, the adult talks about the rules of behavior, the rules of the game, or teaches you to foresee the negative results of the experiments being carried out.
Younger schoolchildren use competition fights in their practice. They love to measure their strength, so such fights attract a lot of spectators. But they do not separate the fighters. Such fights have rules: put the opponent on the shoulder blades, fight "to the first blood" or before the loser asks for mercy. If such a fight is stopped, the children will still continue it in another place and at another time. An adult can point children to the location of such fights: a gym or a playground.
Fights for the sake of justice most often occur in adolescents: children defend their right to leadership, defend the honor of a friend or girlfriend. Such fights usually take place in a team and serve the purposes of self-affirmation of a teenager. In this case, the teenager should be introduced to other ways of self-affirmation. A teenager can be respected in a team for his dedication in friendship, for the ability to come to the rescue on time, for the intellectual and creative abilities necessary in any team, for sports achievements, for social work in the classroom.
Fights with hooligan motives, with the help of which children humiliate and offend another person, when the fight is enjoyable and becomes the only way to interact with other people, should be strictly stopped and punished.
It is important that from early childhood, adults teach the child to communicate with peers without the use of fights. Adults themselves should also not use physical punishment of the child, since the predominance of strength over weakness becomes an attractive example for the child when he interacts with other people.
