It does not always happen that your own family is the quiet haven where you can hide from the storms of life. If one of the spouses skillfully manipulates the other, then the second just needs to learn not to succumb to provocations. Most often, the manipulator behaves this way, feeling guilty, so he needs to cause a scandal in which both will be to blame, and not admit his mistake.
Instructions
Step 1
One of the most popular manipulator techniques is provocation. Using it, he seeks to induce an inadequate reaction, which will allow him to take a more advantageous position. Be patient and be unwaveringly calm. In response to the provocation, ask to specify the situation and give examples of what you are accused of. Specify when it happened and how it happened. A detailed analysis will already reduce the degree of incandescence.
Step 2
Many manipulators like to act on the principle of "Fool yourself" or "Look at yourself." These phrases are used when it is necessary to discourage a person and switch him to himself, in search of his guilt. This leads to the fact that you move away from the main, initial topic of the conversation and begin to remember when it was, make excuses and explain your actions. Try not to deviate from the topic, firmly say that you will discuss your shortcomings later, and now you are waiting for an explanation on this issue.
Step 3
A strong technique for manipulators is a counter-accusation, which is clearly unfair and even absurd. Out of surprise, you immediately begin to find out why your interlocutor took it, and when it happened. That's it, the end - now the conversation is completely devoted to finding out that this is not true, and you are also forced to make excuses. As in the previous case, control yourself and as soon as you hear such a switch phrase, ignore it or promise to discuss this case later. Be sure that after the conversation this topic will not be raised.
Step 4
Sometimes the cause of provocation is aggression, which there is simply no one to throw out on. If your spouse returned home in such a state, do not fall for provocation - there are no winners in a scandal. Use the famous "psychological aikido" technique. Return the last accusatory phrase, agreeing with it. It may even be unfair, then you can demand an apology, but at this moment your task is to avoid family conflict.
