Parents, seeing off an elegant baby to his first school line, hope that he will study successfully, easily cope with the load, will do his homework himself, and at parent meetings they will only have to listen to gratitude for raising a beautiful child and eulogies addressed to him … However, more often than not, reality turns out to be far from hopes and aspirations.
For any child, the beginning of school life is a huge stress. Unaccustomed environment, strict discipline, regular intensive loads - after the freedom of early childhood, this can often abruptly and forever turn a child away from school and from the desire to study in general.
Responsible parents, of whom the majority, who care about the development and health of their child, understand that the times when it was possible to come to the first grade unprepared, in full confidence that they would teach both to read and count, have passed and will not return.
It is clear that the child should already have the necessary stock of knowledge for school: counting to a hundred and reading by syllables is at least, otherwise he automatically falls into the category of those who close the system in terms of academic performance, which means that, firstly, he will have to catch up secondly, it immediately puts the child in a lagging position, and this is psychologically severely traumatic. In addition, it is always extremely difficult to catch up and, according to experience, very few people succeed.
Sticks and hooks will write, of course, but not for long. Fifteen - twenty years ago, when they were doing experiments on children with might and main, at the end of the first quarter, the first students already wrote reviews of the books they had read and attached drawings of their own performance to them. And in the second grade they solved equations with x.
Since then, the school has changed its mind in places, the children who have lost their eyesight from exertion have grown up and put on lenses, but the school curriculum is still complex, requiring hard work, attention, discipline and regularity.
And here the attention and help of parents cannot be overestimated. For the most part, parents are now totally busy, making a career, making money. If a child in elementary school is not attracted by attention, is not controlled in compliance with the schedule and regular performance of tasks, is left to the care of super-loyal grandmothers or irresponsible nannies - very soon problems will make themselves felt.
What the child can do on his own, he must do on his own. Hanging over it and controlling every movement, or, even worse, doing it for it, so as quickly, is impossible in any case.
But to scold a child for missing something, did not understand, did not have time, did not cope with something - a mistake. Always, under any circumstances, the child should know and feel that you are on his side, that he can count on help and support. Not to punish, not to scold, but to look for the cause of the failure and ways to solve the problem, to help.
Always helping when needed is the main commandment. Not to compare with more successful classmates or older children, not to punish for what was done with mistakes, not to do it yourself instead of a child for the sake of a good grade - these are simple rules that are often violated by parents.
What is the help? If a gap in knowledge is found, return to the topic, understand, explain, control, make sure that you have learned something without which it is impossible to move on. If you don't have time, don't have enough patience or the ability to explain the material - hire a tutor, agree with the teacher about additional lessons. But one must not miss the moment when the unlearned, misunderstood begins to build up like a snowball, burying the child's academic success, his confidence in his strengths, intelligence and abilities.
At this early stage, attentive parents may face the fact that it is not laziness or slovenliness that interferes with the child's success in school, but objective problems associated with features or even health.
A feature may be that the child is left-handed, and before school this was not clearly manifested and was not noticed by the parents in their eternal life race. Fortunately, these children are not being retrained now and this is no longer a problem. But this is a reason to become interested in the topic and read about the characteristics of such children, about their individuality.
Not so long ago, they began to talk about a problem that was previously qualified as learning disabilities, underdevelopment, almost stupidity. This problem is called dyslexia and dysgraphia. This is not a disease or a vice, but nevertheless, this feature greatly ruins life if the problem is not detected in time, not understood or ignored. In Europe, too, not so long ago, dyslexic students, having successfully studied at the university, wear a badge on their lapel, which says: "Help the student, he is dyslexic." So what is the problem, how does it manifest itself?
A child with such a diagnosis (do not be intimidated by this word), with preserved intelligence, poorly perceives the written text. Despite the fact that he can successfully put letters into words, it is enough to read fluently, it is difficult for him to understand and assimilate what he has read. But he perceives sounding speech, recorded text on a medium easily. For students with such a feature, progressive universities have language laboratories, students are allowed not to take notes, but to record lectures on a dictaphone.
If the child has read the text assigned for retelling, and it is difficult to reproduce what he has read even after he has read it several times, you need to pay attention to this. Try to read the text to him yourself, so that he listens, and then tried to retell it. If it works, you should pay attention to this, without emphasizing or voicing your observations aloud. This is a reason to take a closer look at how the child prepares oral assignments, as he understands after reading the conditions of the problem. Scenes from "Afftor Burns!" are not always funny. Nobody wants their child to become a laughing stock.
In addition, if a child often skips syllables, rearranges them, turns the letters over, this is also a signal to pay attention to the existing circumstance and turn to a specialist. Dyslexia and dysgraphia detected in time are amenable to correction, and if problems remain, they can be dealt with quite successfully using the recommendations of knowledgeable and understanding people.
Among dyslexics, there are many famous, even outstanding people who cannot but be considered successful. This fact made neuropathologists think about the connection between dyslexia and giftedness. The list of dyslexics includes Mayakovsky and Einstein, Ford and Disney, Bill Gates and Keira Knightley.
And one more common problem, which is often interpreted as bad upbringing, licentiousness, bad character, but in fact has a very real basis, an objective reason that creates some inconvenience for both parents and teachers and children. This problem is called hyperexcitability.
If a child, as an infant, goes into crying, his chin trembles after being unable to calm him down for a long time, his hands twitch - this most often does not raise questions. When the baby is worn for hours without interruption, it is difficult to calm down after active play, does not fall asleep well - this may not alarm anyone for a long time, it can be attributed to the nature, natural energy for childhood.
The real problems begin in school, where it is difficult to sit still for forty minutes in a row, where you need to organize yourself for daily homework, where discipline and order are required.
Hyperexcitability is now a widespread diagnosis for various reasons associated with modern life. The sooner parents notice the existing problem and seek help from a pediatric neurologist who will prescribe examination and treatment, the happier, healthier and more successful the children will be.
Being parents is a great happiness and responsibility, which there is no one to shift. Not everything in life is in our hands, but if we can do something today for our children, then this is the main task, because the calculation of the "first-second" is over and there is no one else to hope for. After all, if not us, then who?
