Is your child as stubborn as a donkey? Then we go to you! Jokes aside, stubbornness is one of the most common childhood flaws. Although in fact many other character traits are disguised under stubbornness.
Surely you often come across a situation when already an adult child of 7-8 years old needs to be begged for a very long time to remove their toys and put things in order. He stubbornly continues to play, not noticing your requests. But this is not so much stubbornness as neatness and laziness. The child perfectly hears and understands you, but unlike you, the clutter does not bother him.
Trying to force the child into a sense of order will only provoke a backlash. Try a different approach. Explain to your child that everything needs to be cleaned up in an hour and leave the room. Give your child the opportunity to choose when to start cleaning at that hour. Go back to the agreed time - if the child still hasn't had time to clean up, but has already started, cheer him up. If he continues to play carefree, repeat the request, but give 10 minutes to complete. Immediately warn that the child will receive due punishment for refusal and sabotage, and leave again.
As a rule, after the second reminder, the child will nevertheless start cleaning, making it clear with all his appearance that he is doing you a great favor. Pay no attention to this. As soon as the job is done, reward the child with your favorite treat. If you came back after 10 minutes, and the case did not get off the ground, punish the child, as you promised. But you need to remove everything in its place in his presence. The child should understand that cleaning does not cause negative emotions in you, it is quick and easy. But the punishment you invented is clearly unpleasant. Let such cases be repeated several times in the future, but the child will quickly conclude that it is much easier to remove himself than to endure some kind of deprivation in the form of punishments.
Also, pay attention to the tone in which you tell your child to put away toys. He should not be ordered, so as not to drop the dignity of the child, and he will be called to fulfill the request faster. Formulate it like this: “Let’s put everything away now, and let's go for a walk with you?” After waiting for the reaction - the child must agree. If the child refuses, find out the reason. Perhaps he just wants to finish the game or finish building the constructor. Even if you hear the answer “I don’t want”, agree with him that this time you will remove it instead of him, and he will feed the cat instead of you. After all, we all sometimes feel reluctant to fulfill our responsibilities, and we allow ourselves not to. So give your child the opportunity to be lazy sometimes.
