Men cheat twice as often as women - such data were obtained by researchers based on the results of surveys. However, the news of a partner's infidelity does not always lead to a marriage breakup. Quite often, men go to their mistress and do not leave their wife. And it is this fact that for the most part confuses the ladies. Psychologists, however, will assure that men have their own reasons to do just that.
Most often, a man tries to hide the fact that he is walking to the left. And this desire is driven by various reasons - from the desire to avoid scandals and showdowns to (oddly enough in this situation it sounds) reverent attitude towards his wife.
Reasons for cheating
There can be very, very many reasons for cheating. This is alcoholic intoxication, and a desire to take revenge or punish a spouse, and a lack of thrills at home, etc. At the same time, it is not at all a fact that a man who began to cheat on his wife no longer loves her. It's just that he can get something less at home from what is easily given to him on the side.
Naturally, if the fact of treason is revealed, you should not blame either the guilty spouse or yourself for all the sins. As a rule, both are to blame. Therefore, serious psychological work will have to be done to find out the truth.
The fact that a man must leave the family if he has a mistress is a myth. On the contrary, representatives of the strong half of humanity prefer to keep the family, having a connection on the side. Yes, sometimes one lover replaces another, but the family of such a gentleman is sacred.
A man can not leave the family for various reasons. For example, he really loves his wife, just because of his nature, one woman is not enough for him. Or the wife is cold in bed. Or … everyone has their own explanation for this phenomenon.
In addition, a situation is often encountered when a man loves both his wife and his mistress, and does not want to part with either of them. In this case, the mistress is obviously in a more advantageous position, because she knows they have a love triangle. And in this situation, whether the man will remain in the family directly depends on his wife and her reaction when she finds out about the affair.
The lover's divorce promise is heard most often. However, such conversations rarely reach the point. Often the reason is the selfishness of a man who is just so comfortable to live.
The husband cheats, but does not leave: what to do
If the truth was revealed to the wife, and she decided to forgive her husband, first of all, it is necessary to put the question before him point-blank: either the wife or the mistress. He must make this difficult decision and choose one.
Often in psychological sources they write that it is impossible for a husband to put such an ultimatum. Indeed, this should not be done in the form of an ultimatum. But it is necessary that this decision literally matured in the air.
You should not resort to blackmail, threats and other prohibited methods. The wife must necessarily become more advantageous in comparison with the mistress. And this means that if you decide to forgive, you will have to pull yourself together - become kind, sympathetic, gentle and start fulfilling the desires of your man. Of course, with a grain of reason. You shouldn't turn yourself into a slave just to save your marriage. Remember that a man can start taking advantage of the situation. It will be enough just to change the tactics of behavior a little, correcting those traits that your spouse did not like about you.
You will also have to take care of your own appearance - tidy yourself up, change your clothes, hairstyle, etc. Find a hobby. A little personal life and interests on the side will help revitalize the marriage, making you more interesting in the eyes of your spouse.
Remember that if he, having a mistress, does not leave you, it means that he needs you, values your feelings and loves you. And these are strong trump cards in the fight against a rival.
