As L. N. Tolstoy in his novel "Anna Karenina": "All happy families are alike, and every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." In connection with this statement of the classic, I really want to know this secret of a happy family. Let's try to figure out what it is?
In any team (and a family is also a team, even if there are no children in it), everything is in order when everyone is in their place and correctly performing their duties, and for this you need to constantly work on yourself, improving your character and skills.
Before applying for a job in a company, you need to know the upcoming responsibilities, what you need to know and be able to do. The next step is to prepare for the desired position: study according to the profile of work, acquire the necessary experience in this field of activity. But when it comes to the family, the preparation for family life is usually overlooked. Much attention is paid to how to start a family, and what to do next, and what is hidden behind the words: "and they lived happily ever after" - remains a mystery. However, much of the success in family life depends precisely on how well the preparation for family responsibilities has been done prior to marriage.
So, every girl who wants to get married must be ready to fulfill the basic duties of a wife:
- Yes, not to become one in a few years of family life, but already to be. Those. you need to be able to plan your time before marriage so that you can keep up with everything: washing, cleaning, cooking, room design, etc. - must fit within a reasonable time frame, be executed quickly, efficiently and efficiently. If you are able to delegate some responsibilities in whole or in part to other family members - honor and praise if it will be reasonable management, and not shifting from a sore head to a healthy one.
- The wife should always look well-groomed and attractive, just like before the wedding. Manners and appearance should be charming so that the husband rushes home and not for additional work.
- You should never give up personal growth: grow up in a hobby, hobbies, professional sphere. You can improve as a housewife - let there be no equal here. In any case, read classical literature, are interested in culture and art, and it will always be interesting to talk to you.
- : raising children and caring for the health of the family has always been on women's shoulders. So that this part of women's life does not become a heavy burden, in advance, before you have the very opportunity to take care of children, learn how to do it correctly. Find answers to the questions: what is typical for children of every age? What is the norm of development, and what is the deviation? Which diseases are dangerous and which are not, and how to distinguish and treat them? How to raise children without yelling, swearing and severe punishment? When looking for answers to these and other questions that concern you, be sure to look at the result of applying the advice that you receive: how many children does the person giving you advice on parenting have, and which of these children eventually grew up? What is the health of the person and their family members while they give you treatment advice? If you prepare for the topics of health and parenting in advance, then you will no longer feel anxiety about the onset of pregnancy (it does not matter if desired or not) - you know exactly what to do, so you will only hone the nuances, and the child will not seem like a burden … By the way, you also need to prepare for pregnancy in advance.
- : Study the psychology and peculiarities of the existence of men. In this case, you can always properly interact with your husband, smoothing out sharp corners.
- Understand who is in charge in the family. The main husband in the family. He is the captain of the family ship. Be a good navigator and you won't be afraid of storms.
- Work your character and lifestyle in accordance with your expectations from the family: are you yourself meeting the bar that you set for other members of your future family?
The husband's direct responsibilities include:
- The financial support of the family is perhaps one of the most obvious responsibilities of a husband. Of course, a wife can also work and even earn good money, but this is not her area of responsibility, and she has every right to refuse work in favor of domestic service. Therefore, before entering into a relationship with a girl, get a good job, so that then fleetingly tell her: "Honey, if you want, you can not work." This broad gesture may not be realized by her, but it will give more strength to your relationship.
- Ensuring the safety of the family is another of the most important responsibilities of the husband. This includes providing the family with their own home in a safe area and security inside the home. Internal security includes fire, electrical, radiation and mechanical safety of the living space: so as not to be nailed, not flooded, not burned out, electrocuted, not irradiated, etc. If by the time you start your family you already have your own home, that's great, but not everyone can boast of such a luxury at the very beginning of the marriageable age. In this case, thoroughly research the housing market, assess your capabilities, if necessary, calculate a loan or mortgage for different options. When choosing housing, focus primarily on its safety and compliance with the status of a family person: a quiet area, remoteness of roads, the presence of children's institutions nearby (it will not be very great if you walk to work and take your children to kindergarten or school by transport or your own car). Of course, there are many different options, choose the most reasonable one. After all, a small or unsuitable apartment can always be sold or exchanged for a better option. To ensure the social safety of your future family members, learn the art of conflict resolution, study the basic legal framework, or make friends with knowledgeable people (most importantly, make friends with all neighbors and maintain good relations with them). By the way, state registration of marriage also refers to the field of family security, since it legally protects both spouses, their rights and property in case of divorce or unforeseen situations.
- The adoption of strategically important decisions for the family has always been in strong male hands. The husband is the captain of the family ship. To skillfully manage it and lead your family to a happy future, develop the qualities of a strategist, learn to think ahead, calculate several options (learn to play chess - this game can greatly help you in the development of strategic and tactical thinking). At the same time, do not forget that the captain has a team, the opinion of which must also be listened to and with which it is simply necessary to discuss important issues in order to avoid a riot on the ship.
- So that your wife does not seem like a creature from another planet, study at least a little of the basics of female psychology, the peculiarities of female thinking and outlook on the world. If this is unbearable, then carefully study your own chosen one before you propose to her, so that in the future you will not be surprised at her reaction and behavior.
- Think ahead of time and be very honest about how much you fit into the kind of family you expect to create. In this regard, eliminate unnecessary habits and develop your best qualities.
So, there is a lot of work to be done, especially if you need to redo, and not create from scratch. When to start such family planning? The earlier the better. It is ideal when parents bring up a successful family man from the moment he was born, but if you have to think about it on your own, then it is best to start in adolescence, you can independently, but better under the guidance of an adult whose family you consider happy. But even if the daring age is over, then start right now, because if you are reading this article, then the question is ripe, and it's time to act! Nothing is impossible, dare and work on yourself.
