The betrayal of a beloved man with whom a relationship is built in marriage, and whose love is still alive, despite the years nearby, is a shock. After this deed, pain settles in the heart, a desire to take revenge, to leave or drive him out of the house, but just not to reconcile and forgive. Is it possible forgiveness in case of betrayal or is it better to forever abandon attempts to establish family life with this person - such thoughts often hover in the minds of offended women.
Instructions
Step 1
Calm down first. As there is no truth in the legs, so there is no truth in anger. Of course, the first desire after the bad news about treason will be to scream, cry, reproach, scold her husband. But you do not need to do this with him, since screaming can only anger your spouse, because in such a situation you want to defend yourself, and accusations from him will pour in your direction. Or, after such a grandiose quarrel, you can forever instill in his heart a feeling of guilt that cannot be redeemed over the years, and the best thing that can be done in this situation is to disperse and never see each other again.
Step 2
Be hard on both your husband and yourself. Married husbands do not always have mistresses for no reason. In a happy marriage, the husband rarely stares at others and seeks to taste the forbidden fruit. With complete mutual understanding of the spouses, one of them does not keep secrets from the other. Perhaps cheating is a loud signal that something is wrong with the marriage. Reflect on your relationship with your husband by asking yourself when your spouse began to lose interest in you. Or, perhaps, it was you who lost interest in him, did not pay attention, denied intimacy. Think about what was the reason for the loss of trust and when came the moment of alienation from each other. Here you should not feel sorry for your husband or yourself. By answering these questions, you can try to fix the problems.
Step 3
Decide what you want most in this situation: to leave and never see this person, to forgive and try to improve the relationship, to hurt him the same way, and then forgive? Does your relationship have a future? You need to answer yourself as honestly as possible, regardless of any fears or factors in the form of children or revenge for your mistress. You need to make a decision after thinking everything over well, therefore it is so important at first to calm down and think only on a sober head. No one except the woman herself knows what will be better in this situation and what kind of relationship she has with her husband.
Step 4
Be honest. It is imperative to tell your spouse that you know about the betrayal, to show that it hurts you, but in no case to sort things out in a raised voice. The woman has already made a decision for herself, but in marriage it is impossible to do without the opinion of the other side. Let your husband explain the situation why cheating has become possible. The wife sees everything only from her side and often does not take into account what is happening in the life of her man. Was cheating a fleeting passion? Does the spouse regret it, does he regret it? Or maybe the other woman is the true love of his life? Or the man is simply confused, perhaps the midlife crisis is making itself felt. Sometimes betrayal becomes the reason for the strengthening of marriage and a new round of relations, when a man, in a fit of passion, commits the unlawful, and then realizes how wrong he was and did not see that there was an ideal woman next to him. Only after discussing these issues confidentially, directly and very honestly, you can once again return to the decision to leave or stay with your husband.
