Quarrels are an integral part of family relationships, since two adults with an established life position and often different opinions can rarely find a common language in a disputable situation. To prevent quarrels from leading to the destruction of relationships, family psychologists recommend following several rules that will help to make peace and forget about the conflict.
First of all, reconciliation after a quarrel requires a first step towards meeting from one of its participants. At the same time, psychologists advise you to remember that this is not an admission of your guilt, but only allows you to show responsibility, maturity and decisiveness. Therefore, excessive pride after a quarrel is unlikely to help improve relations, while an offer to forget about the conflict can be the very step that its second participant is looking forward to. At the same time, according to psychologists, one should not seek reconciliation immediately after a quarrel - both parties should cool down emotionally, analyze what happened and what was said, figure out the cause of the conflict, and then throw out the white flag.
It would be nice to involve a close friend in assessing the situation - perhaps he can give a more objective assessment of what happened.
However, the rapprochement after a quarrel should not be delayed for a long time, since the grievances inflicted can degenerate into a gradual separation of people from each other. A great solution for reconciliation can be any occasion - for example, inviting the family to a friend's birthday, which cannot be refused. A joint choice of a gift, and then a mutual pastime in a warm festive circle, can significantly accelerate the descent of the conflict to nothing. At the same time, psychologists recommend not to be ashamed to apologize, even if the second party to the conflict was wrong - over time, he realizes that he was wrong, and the ground for this can be prepared in advance. In addition, more often than not, after the first apology, the second one immediately follows - from the second side.
After reconciliation, in no case should you remember old grievances again, trying to manipulate a person with the help of a sense of guilt for past misconduct. This can lead to the accumulation of even more resentment for the partner's rancor, and negate all efforts made to preserve the relationship. To smooth out the remaining sharp corners after reconciliation, you should definitely talk in a confidential atmosphere, while showing humility and tenderness that can melt any ice on your heart. However, psychologists say that sometimes quarrels are even useful - they lead to violent reconciliation and warm up slightly cooled feelings.
Quarreling with a preventive goal is possible only on the condition that conflicts will rarely occur and are fully controlled by the initiator.
At the time of a quarrel, it is also very important not to be predictable, since this can greatly aggravate the situation - it is this behavior that leads to a loss of partners' interest in each other. For this reason, psychologists advise at the peak of a quarrel to do something completely unexpected or absurd - for example, break a plate or sing out your favorite song loudly. Such antics often defuse a tense situation, and the conflict ends without much effort on both sides. The main thing here is not to overdo it with the "special effects" used.
