What surprises life does not give us, and, alas, they are not always only pleasant. And it is hardly worth hoping that in a couple's relationship there can only be clear and cloudless days. But when the hurricane passes, passions subside and pain dulls, common sense and natural optimism give hope for the revival of the old union. And if such a desire is mutual, and the impending difficulties do not frighten, then it is worth taking a number of steps that would bring closer to the renewal and strengthening of the shaken relations every day.
Instructions
Step 1
An attempt to forget everything. The most difficult and, perhaps, the most difficult stage, but without which all further attempts to come to the previous relationship are meaningless.
Step 2
Forgiveness. An equally acute and painful question if any of the partners really did an unworthy act, and the gap occurred for a serious and weighty reason.
Step 3
Analysis of your own behavior. With extremely rare exceptions, both partners are involved in breaking the union. And trying to calm down anger, indignation and other emotions, you should look at the situation dispassionately, analyze the events preceding the quarrel, evaluate your own mistakes, try to mentally take the opponent's place. Of course, this stage can be associated with difficulties in objectively comprehending events, so it may be useful to consult an experienced psychologist.
Step 4
Willingness to change. Unfortunately, the complete eradication of sorrowful memories is impossible, and you should be prepared for the fact that the relationship will never be the same again. The realization of this fact should be resigned to as inevitable. And all attempts to restore the union should be carried out with a clear understanding that even complete reconciliation and forgiveness will not be able to return the relationship to normal. Just as you cannot enter the same channel twice, you cannot build the same union twice.
Step 5
Update. Once you recognize the fact of change, it is worth working to ensure that it ultimately turns out to be positive. And the new union more than ever will need active support at the first stage. During this period, a good recharge for new relationships will be a joint trip to romantic places, a vacation in solitude from everything that would remind of the previous enmity. Even an ordinary redecoration in the house with a change of decor and color scheme can be a fresh stream in the relationship of a reunited couple.
Step 6
Routine. And when the bursts of both negative and positive emotions have subsided, it is very useful to return to everyday worries that will not allow thoughts to wander aimlessly through the nooks of bitter memory.
