Conflicts between daughters-in-law and mother-in-law happen quite often. They are especially acute if they live in the same apartment. Not only women suffer in such a situation, but also a man whose mother and wife cannot find a common language.
Take your time with the choice
The daughter-in-law and mother-in-law cannot agree on how to run the household, because each has a different outlook on life. In addition, the wife and mother begin to compete with each other for the love of their son and husband. Women tired of rivalry can deliver an ultimatum: "Either I or she."
A man may end a relationship with one of them. Thus, he will either destroy his family, or betray the woman who gave birth to him and raised him. With any choice, one of the women and the man himself will suffer. So take your time to make a decision and try to fix the situation.
Try to fix everything
If you live with your mom, be sure to leave her. Rent an apartment or room. Even if your living conditions deteriorate greatly, the psychological situation in the house will certainly improve, and this is much more important than fresh repairs or spacious rooms. After your mom and wife stop dating every day, at least half of the reasons for conflict will disappear.
Talk to Mom and Wife
She must understand that you have created your own family, in which the mistress is your wife. Now only you and your spouse have the right to make decisions. Mom's opinion is important and she can express it, but you don't have to follow it. Explain that you will not allow criticizing your spouse's behavior, condemning her abilities, etc. These boundaries are necessary if your mother is trying to establish her own rules in your family.
At the same time, tell me how you appreciate and love your mother. Promise that you will definitely visit her or call her once a week. If you have children, do not deprive them of the opportunity to communicate with their grandmother.
Discuss the situation with your wife. Explain to her that your mom will always be the woman to whom you owe your birth. The daughter-in-law has every right not to love her mother-in-law and not even communicate with her, but it is unacceptable to require a man to end all relations with his own mother. If you have children or are planning them, ask your wife to imagine that her child will have to refuse to communicate with her at the request of a loved one.
Perhaps you should reconsider how you feel about your mom. Of course, you must communicate with her and provide her with material and moral assistance. But above all, you are now the head of your own family, and the bulk of your money and free time should be spent on your wife and your children.
Tell both women how you feel. They need to understand that you love both of them and that giving up any of them will make you unhappy.
