Lack of self-confidence is emotionally, psychologically and physically exhausting. Although almost everyone from time to time experiences short-term doubts about their own abilities, men who are constantly suffering from self-doubt often find themselves in unpleasant situations, they are pursued by failures; they have a low level of trust in the environment. A relationship with such a man can be a serious challenge.
He is constantly on the defensive
An insecure person often perceives the world around him as an aggressive environment. He initially takes a defensive stance. This is evidenced by his body language - crossed arms and legs, an increase in the distance between him and the interlocutor, an unwillingness to look in the eyes.
When an insecure man hears the slightest criticism, he takes it extremely painfully. A person with high self-esteem is able to calmly listen to the interlocutor, consider whether the criticism is constructive or not, and calmly answer, if necessary. An insecure man is always afraid that others will decide that he is worthless, so he begins to refute critical remarks immediately, without thinking about them.
Another facet of self-doubt is the desire to constantly blame others for your failures. This is a way of protection, when responsibility for your actions, your life, is shifted onto the shoulders of others. Eternal victims of circumstances, colleagues, "former", difficult childhood, so defend themselves, hiding self-doubt.
He makes excuses all the time
Insecure people often begin to apologize, make excuses "from scratch." They give you a gift, apologizing in advance that you might not like it, even though you haven't even unpacked it yet. They ask forgiveness for the behavior of other people whom they cannot control at all. They apologize for bothering you, even though you have told them many times that they did not bother you. This is not a sign of good parenting, no. With such behavior, an insecure man "goes ahead of the curve." He has no confidence in his actions, so he would rather admit his behavior inappropriate in advance and apologize for him than give you a chance to reproach him for something.
In addition, they constantly feel the need to explain their actions. Mistakes happen to everyone, but not everyone is able to procrastinate them for hours, explaining why this happened. Even if the decisions of the insecure man were right, it doesn't stop you from telling how they were made.
Men who lack self-confidence are in dire need of the constant approval of others, acceptance. If others approve of them, then they must be "okay." They have no understanding that the presence of dissatisfied and disagreeing people is not the main criterion for the correctness of decisions.
He's too worried about the future
Many people suffering from self-doubt are constantly worried about their future. They are unable to enjoy what they have now and expect positive changes. It always seems to them that they will soon fail to cope with the situation and everything will collapse.
An insecure man is afraid of change and doubly afraid to change something himself. He can put up with a low position for years, fearing that, applying for a higher one, he will lose his job altogether. He may be surrounded by toxic people, but he is afraid to plunder the relationship, expecting problems, troubles, and also the fact that no one else will need him.
With decision-making, such a man will pull to the last. Even basic questions - which restaurant to go to? Should I take an umbrella with me? How to dress your child for a walk? - will be accepted "with a scratch". After all, if the choice is wrong, they will be criticized. Therefore, at any opportunity, it is better to delegate the choice to someone else.
He is full of negativity
The negativism of insecure men is explainable - they expect trickery, exposure, criticism from the world all the time. They do not know how to enjoy even the well-deserved success, since it seems to them the result of some incredible luck, and not a recognition of their competence. They don't know how to accept compliments. A self-confident person will gladly listen to a flattering opinion and thank for it, and an insecure person will begin to deny, because deep down he really believes that he is not worthy of high praise.
Because this attitude is incredibly emotionally and psychologically overwhelming, it leads to negative perceptions of reality and one's environment. Even a good attitude towards himself, an insecure man will be able to perceive with a minus sign. After all, he does not deserve it, which means that in fact it is either a deception, or you are simply stupid and do not see the obvious.
He has self-deprecating jokes
The habit of making fun of oneself viciously has nothing to do with a sense of humor. This is just another way to protect yourself. After all, someone can joke about him, he will definitely joke, and thereby cause pain - this is how an insecure man sees the future, therefore he takes preventive measures. And since he expects only rude jokes, then his jokes will also be devoid of grace.
