The joy and pleasure of communicating with your partner have been replaced by mutual resentment and irritation? Has relationship become a burden instead of a source of inspiration? These are all sure signs that basic needs are not being met in a relationship. Paying daily attention to the desires and expectations of your life partner will help improve the situation.
At the dawn of a relationship …
When the relationship between a man and a woman is just beginning to develop, it seems that for happiness you only need to be around all the time. Lovers, spending time together, make concessions and compromises, wanting to please the other half. But gradually the euphoria of love passes. And it turns out that being together is not an easy job. It turns out that the partner has his own ideas about how the relationship should develop in a couple. A man and a woman know what they want from spending time together, they know what makes them happy in the behavior of another person. And they look forward to this happiness, hoping that the second person will meet their expectations.
Meeting each other's basic needs is a solid foundation for building a happy relationship. Only in this case is a harmonious partnership, respect and love possible.
4 basic relationship needs
Despite all the features of the male and female psyche, for the difference in their perception of the surrounding reality, the basic needs of men and women, which must be satisfied in a relationship, coincide.
1 need is acceptance.
When entering into a relationship, a man and a woman, as a rule, have a certain life experience. They have already formed a worldview, their own view of the events taking place around them, criteria for evaluating the actions of others. Added to this are personal characteristics of character and temperament, appearance, habits and weaknesses.
The need for a person to accept him as he is is one of the basic needs. And the fear of not being accepted is one of the most powerful fears. When one of the partners feels that he is accepted with all the advantages and disadvantages, he is also ready to show understanding and express his love. At the same time, satellites do not consider each other ideal. By satisfying the need for acceptance, they have the opportunity to improve themselves, becoming better and meeting the expectations of their partner. Feeling full acceptance, a person gets the opportunity not to feel fear when communicating with a partner, can show all the depth and strength of his love, and is confident in his uniqueness.
When accepting the other half, with its pros and cons, it is worth remembering the approval as well. Partners should feel that their thoughts and actions are accepted and approved. This is a powerful incentive for the desire to invest as much moral and physical strength as possible in the relationship.
If the need for acceptance is not satisfied, the man and woman constantly talk about visible shortcomings, voice mutual reproaches, and the relationship collapses before our eyes. Both feel guilty, lose faith in their own attractiveness, and begin to show aggression and anger. At the same time, the relationship comes to a standstill.
2 need - physical contact.
Two in a happy relationship need physical contact. They express their love and affection through hugs, kisses, touching and sex.
To maintain psychological health, a person needs about 20 hugs a day. Loving people ensure the realization of this need for each other without hesitation.
But the basics of sexual attraction in men and women are different. Marriage therapist Aaron Andersen notes that a man expresses his love through sex. And a woman, in order to want sex, must feel appreciated. It is very important for her to know that an intimate relationship for a partner is not only sex, but also a desire to express her love in this way. The feeling of an emotional connection, attention to each other's desires, the desire to give sexual pleasure - these are the components of this need. If it is not realized, then there is a desire to get everything you need with another partner. This behavior leads to internal and external conflicts and, in the future, to a break in relations.
3 need - communication.
Communication is important only for a woman - this is an established stereotype. Two need it. The only difference is that the partner wants to communicate, discussing different issues. And for a partner, communication is most attractive when working together. For her, the very process of communication is important, and for him - the result. Knowing these features, it is easy to build a relationship so that both are comfortable. Realizing the need for communication, expressing various emotions, discussing what seems important is the basis of close emotional attachment.
In sincere communication, trust and respect in a couple is manifested. Partners have the opportunity to fully reveal themselves emotionally, without fear of being misunderstood and not accepted. With such a relationship, feelings become stronger, and the desire to fulfill the need for communication with someone else does not arise.
4 need - care and affection.
This need lies both in the need to receive care and affection on your own, and in the desire to take care of your partner. At the same time, companions, paying attention to each other, prove the importance of relationships. Satisfying this need, showing maximum attention to detail, making the life of the other more comfortable, realizes their own need to take care of others.
Why is this needed?
A person feels loved and happy, being able to satisfy basic psychological and physiological needs, being in a relationship with one constant partner. At the same time, hearts and souls unite, the two feel themselves as one. A life of love and harmony, confidence in oneself and in a partner - these are the values that need to be cherished. Such a relationship has a future. They need to be preserved and developed.
