A person who had to endure the death of an only child is often left alone with this grief. Of course, others will be with him and help him, but people will avoid talking about death. The sense of moral support that they can provide will be reduced to two phrases: "Be strong" and "Life goes on." The knowledge that our ancestors possessed, and which have recently been forgotten, can come to the aid of a person who has experienced such a tragedy.
Instructions
Step 1
Earlier, when medicine was not so developed, such grief in families happened quite often. Therefore, people developed a pragmatic approach and determined the subsequent stages of the tragedy experienced by the relatives of the deceased. You need to know the stages of grief in order to control your state of mind. This will help you understand in time if you have stayed in one of them, in order to turn to professionals for help in this case.
Step 2
The first stage is shock and numbness, in which you do not believe in the loss and cannot accept it. At this stage, people behave differently, some freeze with grief, some try to forget themselves in the activities of organizing a funeral, consoling other relatives. "Depersonalization" occurs when a person does not really understand who he is, where and why he is. Soothing tinctures, massage procedures will help here. Don't be alone, cry if you can. This stage lasts about nine days.
Step 3
Then, up to forty days, the stage of denial may continue, in which you will already understand your loss, but your consciousness will not yet be able to come to terms with what happened. Often during this period, people hear the steps and the voice of the departed. If he dreams, then talk to him in a dream, ask him to come to you. Talk about the deceased with relatives and friends, remember him. During this period, frequent tears are considered the norm, but they should not continue around the clock. If the stage of blockage and numbness continues, it is necessary to see a psychologist.
Step 4
In the next period, which lasts up to six months after death, acceptance of loss, awareness of pain should come. It can weaken and strengthen again during this period. After three months, a crisis may occur, a feeling of guilt may appear: "I did not save you", and even aggression - "You left me." During this period, aggression can be transferred to others: doctors, friends of the son, the state. These feelings are normal, the main thing is that they do not become predominant and the aggression does not drag on.
Step 5
Some pain relief will occur by the year after death, but a new surge is usually expected in the year. If you already know how to manage your grief, then your feelings will not be heightened as much as on the day of the tragedy.
Step 6
If you have gone through all these stages normally, then by the end of the second year the process of "mourning" is complete. This does not mean that you will forget about the grief you have experienced, but by this time you will have already learned to live without the deceased and remember him brightly, your sorrow will no longer always be accompanied by tears. You will have new plans, new goals and incentives for life.
