It is a well-known myth that all women want to get married. This prompts men to make inappropriate marriage proposals. And finding herself in a similar situation, it is important for a lady to get out of it with dignity and not offend the feelings of a failed husband. This is not easy, but possible.
The easiest way to let the unwanted groom know about your intentions is to anticipate his proposal and prevent him from thinking of you as a potential wife. To do this, talk more about what you expect from the relationship. You should not say that you are potentially ready for marriage, but you do not see your current companion in the role of husband. This will be a serious blow to male pride and completely ruin the relationship. Clearly outline the zone of intimacy - do not indulge in conversations about relatives and friends, do not introduce neighbors to your parents.
If you do hear an offer from someone you don't see as your husband, try to smooth out the blow of rejection. It should be remembered that in any case, your refusal will be painful, it is important to choose the words that did not cause serious psycho-emotional trauma.
You should not answer with a monosyllabic “no”. Even if you are determined to refuse, take time to consider the offer. Be gentle and emphasize that this is a very meaningful act on the part of a man.
Every word you say must be sincere. Therefore, if you feel feelings of love, appreciation, friendship, or respect, say so. Remember that there is no dissonance in the words “I love you” immediately after “I cannot be your wife”. If you feel love, but are not ready for family life, your companion must understand and accept this.
Try to start your speech with soft introductory phrases: "This sentence is very unexpected" or "I am so discouraged that I can not collect my thoughts."
Argument that marriage with someone, even the most enviable groom in Russia, is not part of your plans today. Tell that the main thing for you at this stage of your life is your career, self-development, building a business, creating a financial foothold.
At this point, the failed groom must understand without the word "no" that you are refusing him. It is important to keep the conversation going and to give the man a complete understanding of why you do not want to be his wife.
Share your vision of a family and illustrate the other side of marriage with real-life examples. After a few years of family life, the relationship goes through stages of crisis. Emphasize that you value your current relationship with your companion and do not want your family life to absorb the romance you have now.
Refer to negative experiences of romantic relationships in the past, if you have. Emphasize that the blow you have suffered is still making you mistrustful of men.
Emphasize that your refusal today does not mean that after a while you will not think about the family idyll. Therefore, ask the man not to rush things.
