Living together is not just a personal relationship. Everyone has a job, a hobby, different ideas about leisure. Sometimes it seems that work "eats up" all the time and effort. How to combine personal life and work?
If we feel discomfort due to the fact that work interferes with our personal life, or vice versa, then something is wrong in our personal life. If work prevents, in your opinion, your partner from establishing a full-fledged personal life, this does not mean that he has a bad job and the reason for it.
Are you lacking attention? Does your partner seem to devote a lot of time and energy to work? Seeking supremacy in his life, you run into a wall of dull irritation and misunderstanding? Take a closer look at your own behavior, not at his work. Perhaps your relationship needs a major overhaul.
Pay attention to your own appearance and internal content. Sometimes it happens that we demand attention to ourselves, completely forgetting about our attractiveness - both external and internal.
Start with the question: what does my loved one get from a personal relationship? Am I an interesting conversationalist? Does my loved one receive enough warmth, participation, care?
If the partner is not comfortable next to you, if he does not feel protected from domestic attacks, claims, and the collapsing everyday life is able to infuriate anyone, then there is nothing surprising in the fact that a person goes to work "headlong", no. Sometimes people just get away from conflicts in this way, hide in a heap of work issues, while away time at their desk. In other words, they do everything in order not to return to an unpleasant environment longer.
On the other hand, resist the temptation to stay late at work just to please the boss or simply out of inertia and the habit of "bringing it to an end." Think about which is more important to you: overtime or the good mood of a loved one? Human relationships need time, which is not enough, sometimes precisely because of the habit of overloading oneself with work. You still can't earn all the money, and no production successes can replace communication with loved ones. In such cases, it is better to stick to the "golden mean", remember the promises made at home and not exaggerate the importance of work in your own life.
In this situation, a joint personal life runs the risk of turning into a mechanical existence of two loners under one roof. This cannot last forever, sooner or later the loneliness will be filled with someone. Situations in which work takes up all of your life are dangerous because another person may appear “on the horizon” who can offer your soul mate love and care, understanding and a well-established life, good rest and interesting communication. If you do not want your partner to share your personal space with another person, start with yourself, ask yourself the question: do you devote enough time and love to your loved one yourself?
If work gets in the way of putting things in order with your partner, and you want to change the atmosphere at home for the better, start with yourself. Try not to pester your partner with complaints and reproaches, devote time to making the person you love enjoy being at home. The atmosphere in the house should be comfortable and desirable. This applies to everything: cleanliness in the apartment, and deliciously prepared food, and the absence of irritants that can upset the balance, and benevolence. Then your half will fly home from work, in full confidence that it is cozy and good at home. But this does not mean that all household chores should be shouldered. The partner must be sure that without him you will not be able to solve many problems at home. This increases the feeling of being needed and responsible.
Don't forget about leisure. Don't turn your weekend into endless chores at home. Perhaps a hike in nature, a visit to friends, a visit to a theater, a fashion exhibition, a walk around the city or a romantic dinner for two will bring a touch of freshness, brightness, joy to your personal relationships.
Talk to each other. Share your impressions, exchange information. Try not to translate any topic of conversation into a personal relationship. People are interested in each other when they learn something new together, discuss plans for the future, express interesting thoughts about the world around them. You should not dwell on your own feelings, it quickly becomes boring. To fill all the time and attention only with personal relationships, passions, stormy showdowns and the demand for exceptional attention is at least unreasonable.
In addition to work and personal relationships, any person should have time that he can devote to himself: to think, reflect, put things in order in thoughts and feelings, play your favorite online game, read a book, be silent, find inner balance, be at peace, accumulate life energy. If there is no such "gap" between work and personal relationships, sooner or later the person may break down, and the conflict will become inevitable.
Between husband and wife - apart from bed and borscht - there must still be something else: common work, hobbies, joint creation. It's good when personal life and work are in one bottle. When people are united by a common activity. Then questions do not arise "work or personal life" - personal life develops into work, and work - into personal life. The mistake of partners is that some begin to demand to choose: either me or work. Claim extra attention. And then both work and personal life collapse …
