The child learns mainly by example. Everything that is inherent in him, positive and negative, he drew from the world around him. Parents can instill in their child kindness, compassion and attention to others, eliminating the manifestations of anger and aggression in the family. But sooner or later it becomes necessary to correct the negative influence of the outside world.
It makes no sense to scold a child if he spits, attacks other children and establishes leadership in various other ways. Teach him to pay attention to people, otherwise aggressive behavior will become a habit. If your child pushed or spat at a peer, show how to do it, rather than explain how not to.
Go to the offended child and have pity on him, give him as much attention as possible. Seeing how someone else spits and fights, tell your child: “The baby is bad and hurt, let's go and stand up for him. We don't want anyone to be offended, do we? " Play with your children, channel your child's energy into the channel of goodness.
"No" in the concept of a child is not at all what this word means to you. He spits, you say that you cannot do this, but he spits again to prove to you that it is quite possible. You must show by your behavior that such behavior is unacceptable. Do not swear or shout, of course, do not hit the child and do not spit back. So you will only confirm the child in the opinion that all this can be done.
Quite often, a toddler spits or throws a tantrum just to see your emotional reaction, which is a kind of entertainment. Mom says new words, gesticulates, "throws thunder and lightning" - is not it a show? Therefore, you should just turn around and leave, saying that spitting is stupid.
Give all your attention to the victim of the child's spitting, not paying attention to the aggressor. All family members should behave in the same way, without exception. If your grandmother is moved by such behavior of her grandson, all your upbringing will be in vain. But you need to talk to your grandmother not in front of a child, so as not to entertain him with showdowns of adults.
If the baby spat on dad, mom says that in our family they don't do that and regrets the offended, and calmly drives the child out of the room. Never smile or laugh at a particularly "successful" spit of a child, otherwise he will conclude that his actions are pleasing to others.