In such a magical event as the birth of a child, family disputes and problems sometimes arise. Especially when it comes to the appearance of a third baby. In this case, the spouses need to learn to listen to each other and speak openly about their doubts and desires.
Behind the facade of a happy family
How often do you see a rainbow picture - mom, dad and three children. This is how a real happy family looks like in the minds of many. But behind the glossy facade of a beautiful and simple life, there are all the same problems that all families have. But only these problems are multiplied by three.
When does the family raise the question of the third child (if we do not take into account the fact that has already happened)? When the two elders have already grown up, and the age of their parents has stepped over the 35 mark.
On the one hand, parents have more free time, you can take a break from childhood illnesses, parental meetings and games with mother's daughters. On the other hand, I want to return that unique smell of a baby and a feeling of endless happiness. The grandchildren are still far away and there is nothing to fill the resulting break, when you get used to living for children and for the sake of children.
One on one
If parents have strength, health and material stability, and most importantly, mutual desire, why not? The main thing is that the child does not become a substitute for the feeling that life is slipping through your fingers. Many couples find that their married life has failed after adult children begin to live independently. They learned to live with children and for the sake of children, but to live for each other, to live in partnership, not in love.
For a long time, children have replaced love relationships with a sense of duty. And after 15-20 years, the couple faces the most terrible problem - to live together. And the third child seems to be an excellent solution to this problem.
The nuances of a new life
The birth of a third child can become not only an imaginary salvation for the marriage, but also a serious test for him. For some, the baby opens up new opportunities and gives strength, while others can barely cope with new responsibilities. And most importantly, older children who are given less time can suffer.
Even before the birth of a child, you need to think over your new life, although, of course, it will not be possible to foresee everything. But the third child should not become a substitute for the elders, and moreover, they should not be obliged to take care of the baby. You can attract them, but give assignments within your powers. Otherwise, protest, especially among adolescents, cannot be avoided.
You will have to divide love into three. It is precisely to divide, and not to decide who will get more of it, and who will wait. And if the eldest son wants your attention right now, do not look for excuses to postpone the conversation (until the youngest falls asleep, until he eats, etc.). Your attention should be the same for everyone, and how you will settle this, you need to think with your spouse.
The third child can become the center of family cohesion, a link between parents and older children. But this is possible if the parents do not highlight the younger or the elder with their attention and attitude, but they see a unique personality in each child.
Life with a plus
The biggest problem in a large family is the material side. Find out in advance what benefits and benefits are provided for large families in your area. You can count on monthly cash benefits, free public transport, utility bills, and kindergarten subsidies.
The social security authorities may offer you gifts for the holidays, free tickets to children's events, reduced vouchers to camps and holiday homes. Most museums offer discounted tickets to families with many children or even admit them free of charge. Large families are exempt from transport tax, which means that you can buy a powerful family car and leave it for free in municipal parking lots by submitting an application to the city traffic police.
