Once yielding to the illegal demand of your child, succumbing to feelings of pity, guilt, or simply because it is so much easier, you give your baby the first feeling of real power over a person, in particular over you. Any power corrupts. You also put the first stone of the wall, which over time has a great chance of growing between you. After all, a simple good human contact can only be horizontal, between equal people who respect each other.
How does this threaten the child?
He is exploring a completely new model of relationships based solely on blackmail. Such a model may be liked the way one likes, for example, drugs, because they give instant results, and at the same time the possibility of easy self-affirmation. Over time, the skills of not playing, but of open communication with people are supplanted by the habits of manipulation. The gap between such children and the world is gradually growing. There can be no winners in such a game.
Parents' actions in communicating with the manipulator
The most important thing is not to start the process. The sooner action is taken, the better. Unfortunately, many parents cannot be firm through the feeling of guilt in front of the child. You can get rid of this feeling if you make a plan for your own rights and responsibilities, and are clearly guided by it.
Equal communication with the child
Try to forget about role-based communication. Get rid of the image of a tyrant, educator, smart adult. Try to talk to your children as if they were a good friend. This will be the easiest way to respect yourself and your interlocutor. Observe your manner of speaking in the third person, for example: "Mom sees everything, mom hears everything."
We must try to develop in the baby respect for their own space. If he has his own territory, where he feels protected and inviolable, where no one bothers him, then he better perceives your right to his own autonomy. Show great respect for your child's space often. For example, knock when entering his room.
Give him the opportunity to choose - even in small things (what food to eat, what to wear, how to play, etc.) But the main thing is to believe that the child is in fact a sovereign person and has common rights with you.
