In the first year of a child's life, the whole foundation of his further relationship to the world is laid. The more fears and anxieties the baby experiences during this period, the more difficult it will be for him to trust and feel safe in the future. The most important role in this is played by the way in which his communication with his mother or another person close to him is built.
Our very first fears are born with us. For a newborn baby, everything around is new: every sound, every smell, color, object, sensation - he first encounters all this and does not know how to interact with the world that opens up to him. He is absolutely not independent and not protected, therefore any phenomenon that violates the calm and stability around is perceived as a threat. This could be sudden loud noises, falling objects, fast movements from another person, or a general loss of support.
At the same time, the dissatisfaction of his basic needs: sleep, food, temperature regime can be significant in the development of anxiety in a child. The baby is not able to satisfy them on his own, so the discomfort experienced gives rise to anxiety.
Closer to 7-8 months, two more fears appear: to lose a mother (or a person who fully replaces her) and the fear of other people. They are due to the fact that the child is already capable of separating "friends" from "strangers" and at the same time begins to distinguish his mother from the crowd. If before it was not so important who exactly satisfies his needs, now the understanding comes that it is mom who is most often around, it is she who feeds, changes clothes, comforts and makes happy. It is the mother who becomes the center of the universe and the source of pleasure. Of course, losing such a significant person is very scary. And then completely unfamiliar people appear, from whom it is still unknown what to expect.
PRACTICAL TIPS:
1. In the first year of a child's life, it is very important to create a familiar comfortable environment for him and constantly be there, to respond to his every manifestation of anxiety - for the smallest people this is a guarantee that the world is safe, and that there is always, at any given time, who will save, who will help, who will take care. In psychology, this state is usually called Basic Trust in the World, which is reflected in the future throughout our life. And do not make him wait, the little ones still do not know how to wait, this time for us is calculated in seconds, and for newborns a minute can seem like an eternity.
2. Emotional contact with people who interact with him is very important for babies. Through positive emotions, he learns a lot about this world, first of all, that he is safe, surrounded by people who are benevolent to him. Smile at the baby more often, talk to him, hug, stroke, whenever possible, make contact with him.
3. When your baby is afraid of sudden sounds or movements, be sure to take him in your arms or just lie down next to him, talk to him, hug, calm down, distract him - do not leave him alone with your fears, this is not at all the age when a person can cope with your experiences.
4. In the second half of the baby’s life, it’s better for mom not to leave him at all. But if she is still forced to do this, it is worth fulfilling several conditions. Firstly, someone very familiar to him should stay with the child: dad, grandmother, grandfather, elder brother / sister - a person with whom communication for the baby will be pleasant and familiar. Secondly, it is desirable that the surroundings be familiar, ideally this is the house where you live.
5. Take seriously the natural dawn of your children's new relationship with the world. This is indeed a very valuable stage in their life. Adults often think that the experiences of the little ones are nonsense: "Well, what's wrong with that, I won't be around for just an hour" or "he whines so sweetly when a kind neighbor took him in his arms."We understand that the neighbor is really kind, but for a baby she is a completely unknown and scary person, and you fall into the category of people on whom you can no longer always rely. And it will take you only an hour not to be at home, and you know that you will definitely return, but for your child this hour can last infinitely long and whether he will see you at least someday, he does not know.
6. Be patient. It is really hard, for a year or more to be in complete dependence on this defenseless creature, to be with him and only with him hourly. But children tend to grow up, their needs change, their ways of interacting with the world change, the circle of people with whom they learn to communicate is constantly expanding. As you approach one and a half years, you will notice how much freer you become. And the better the baby's need for safety is "covered", the more developed his Basic Trust in the World, the less he will cling to you in the future, the faster he will be able to let you go.
