Anxiety is becoming a constant companion of modern man. Still - the world is constantly changing, we are overwhelmed by streams of information that is difficult to understand. We have so much to do. And if an adult is uncomfortable in such a whirlwind, imagine what it is like in such a world for a child who is inclined to worry. But anxiety can be dealt with. And adults can help children with this.
Instructions
Step 1
In the morning you wake up the child, he has breakfast, brushes his teeth, gets ready. Now you just have to put on your shoes and get out. And then you hear this terrible phrase: "Mom, I won't go to school. I don't want to." You know commanding tone won't help. You know that asking, threatening and blackmailing is useless. The only thing you can say to an anxious child now, when there is no time left, is something like: "Kitty, everything will be all right." "I don `t want to go to school." - you hear in response. And you see, he does not believe your "everything will be all right", he is one hundred percent sure that nothing will be all right, he is worried and very anxious. Anxiety prevents him from leaving the house. Anxiety cracks the stomach and gives off treacherous weakness in the legs. You know that if you drag him by force, it will only get worse. But what else can you say to your anxious child now that panic rolls over him again?
Step 2
Sit him down on the couch, sit next to him, hug him and say: "I am with you. You are safe." This phrase can be more supportive than an inspirational monologue, and if you don't know what to say, start with it.
Step 3
Tell me how you feel. What are you afraid of? Tell me about it. All options will do. But when asking this question, limit your time. For example, let's talk about your concern for 10 minutes. And listen. Without interrupting. Do not try to fix, correct, suggest a solution.
Step 4
Show me how great your anxiety is. Invite the child to show the amount of his anxiety with his hands (he can spread his arms out to the sides as much as he sees fit) or with a simple drawing. Draw three circles on a piece of paper - large, medium, and small. Have the child choose the size of the alarm circle.
Step 5
What do you want to tell your concern? Explain to your child that anxiety is like a beetle itching over the ear, which constantly reminds you to worry. But it is in the power of your child to drive this bug away. For example, let him be the little boss and tell the annoying bug to get away. Show me an example. At the same time, speak in some funny or stupid tone. Repeat the phrase loudly and softly.
Step 6
Can you draw your alarm? What is not always possible to describe in words can be depicted on paper using crayons, paints, pencils or a simple fountain pen. When the child is finished, take a look at the drawing. If you see any outstanding features, be sure to check them out. For example, in the picture there is an incomprehensible animal with six legs. Say, "Oh, he has six legs. How many." Or there is a lot of yellow in the picture. Say, "Wow, you, almost everything is yellow here."
Step 7
Let's come up with a good ending. Children are often worried about certain reasons, so they imagine a course of events that plunges them into panic. Your task is to help the child see all possible exits from the situations that frighten them. Help him come up with a story, but let him compose the ending. It can be funny or silly, there can be many endings, but at least one should be realistic and instill confidence in your child.
Step 8
What else do you know about …? Substitute your child's fear for ellipsis. For example, he is afraid to answer at the blackboard. Or worry about an upcoming gym game. Afraid to sound weak. He may be afraid of bees, an elevator, dogs, and anything else. Do some research with him. Arm yourself with books, search for information on the Internet. Knowledge can help you deal with anxiety.
Step 9
Now I will take a deep breath. If your child is so worried that he doesn't want to listen to you, show him how you use the calming strategy yourself. Be a living example. Let him look at you. Hug him. Let him hear and feel how you breathe. He will breathe with you and calm down.
Step 10
This is very scary and … Admit your child's fear. Show him what his anxiety and worry mean to you. That you believe him and hear him. After "and" add something encouraging and encouraging. "This is very scary, and you've dealt with it before." "… and you have a plan.", "… and you're safe."
Step 11
How can I help you? Indeed, do not rush to help. First, ask what your child wants from you and how you can help him.
Step 12
This feeling will pass. This phrase is best repeated together. Indeed, all feelings, even the strongest ones, pass. Anxiety and anxiety seem endless and excruciating, but they also come to an end. It is normal to feel abnormal in a frightening situation.
