Parents of children with school anxiety are well aware of some of the signs and signals. Here are some tips to help teach children how to deal with their anxiety and prepare parents to prepare their children for school life.
What is the difference between a child's clinical anxiety in front of school and his "I just don't want to go to school today"?
You need to look at the baby's behavior. If parents notice signs such as being overwhelmed or stressed, then their child is most likely suffering from school anxiety. In this case, children, as well as adults, often use phrases like: "I just can't do it", "I will never get better", "It will always be like this, and nothing will change"; they see life only in black and white.
Children who just don't want to go to school have a motivation problem and there are other things they choose to do.
Is it easy for parents to recognize this type of anxiety?
Generally, anxiety, especially anxiety at school, gets worse on Mondays. It is very difficult for these children to move from weekends, when they have a lot of free time and no timetable, to the school week with its structure. Therefore, if a child has school anxiety, parents will notice that it is especially difficult to get the child to school on Monday mornings. In this case, they should remain consistent, remain calm, and most importantly, manage their own anxiety so that it does not pass on to the children.
Can anxiety be passed on to children from parents?
Some children, like some adults, tend to be more sensitive, including being more easily anxious. Therefore, parents should be mindful of the signals they send to their children. For example, three things that do not help with anxiety are confidence that there is no anxiety, distraction, and avoidance.
Can the parents themselves cause anxiety in the child about the school?
Of course, or even reinforce it. Many parents are afraid of talking to their child about what school does not satisfy him. For example, when a parent meets a child from school and sees that he looks sad, he will naturally ask, "What happened?" And then they will spend all their time, from school to home, to discuss difficulties. But this is fundamentally wrong. The school day cannot be viewed only in terms of its difficulties. It is necessary to draw the child's attention to the fact that there was something good at school. You need to ask him: "Hi! How was your day? Tell me what was interesting at school today?" And only then it is worth moving on to what were the difficulties.
How can you talk to your child about it if you don't feel like overreacting?
You need to imagine an airplane that got into turbulence. The stewardess will not run back and forth down the hallway hugging passengers and providing them with extra cookies, because it looks very strange. Anyone in this situation will want the flight attendant to be calm and collected, because it gives a sense of security.
Parents also need to stay calm and, depending on the age of the child, say, “I really care about you, but I want you to be more confident, so when you’re in school and have difficulties, I want you to know that you can go to your teacher."
