Unfortunately, this problem is familiar to all parents of teenagers. How do psychologists advise to behave in such a situation?
Don't be rude or raise your voice in response
The main rule when you are faced with the rudeness of a teenager in your address - do not be rude in response and do not raise your voice. The mistake of many parents is that when trying to "put the child in place" they themselves cease to control their emotions, allowing aggression and rudeness towards the child. At this moment, you become a negative example for the child, and he will continue to reproduce such a destructive model of behavior in any conflict situation - at home, at school, with teachers and peers.
Therefore, in any situation, communicate with a teenager with restraint. If you feel that you are starting to "wind up", do not respond to rudeness immediately, but give yourself a few seconds to calm down - mentally count to 10 or take a few deep breaths.
The teenager is rude - not "evil" to the parents
Parents, faced with abrupt changes in the behavior and rudeness of their adolescent children, often see in this the appearance of ingratitude, the desire to do in defiance and in spite of the parental will. Believe me, the child is not rebelling against you, not against the good that you have done for him. It is simply a desire to assert itself, characteristic of this age, to gain respect in the eyes of others. The child tries to be an adult, pretends to communicate "like an adult." But his idea of how an adult should behave is often very distorted, which manifests itself in the form of rudeness.
Explain to your teen how to communicate properly
Do not be offended by the teenager, but at the same time make it clear that it is unacceptable to violate the norms of communication. Do not rush to punish, especially if you first encountered a manifestation of rudeness. Tell your teen how you feel about their behavior, that you are very upset.
It may seem to you that the teenager himself perfectly understands what exactly he said and did wrong. But the point is often that he does not understand! Therefore, it is important to communicate with the teenager, to explain to him the rules of behavior in accordance with his new, "adult" role.
Discuss his behavior with the teenager, but not in the form of notations, but in such a way as to nudge him to independently conclude that rude communication is unacceptable. You can ask what he himself would feel and how he himself acted in your place.
The teenager is keenly aware of the need for recognition and respect - show that you value him and respect his point of view, but require the same respectful behavior on his part.
