A common cause of parental complaints is that children, as they enter adolescence, seem to "fall ill with one-sided deafness." That is, they do not hear at all the words of adults addressed to them. At least that's how it seems to parents.
Do not overestimate the requirements for a teenager
As the child grows up, more and more demands are made on him. The older he becomes, the more difficult the problems and tasks facing him become, and the more worries and fears his future arouses in his parents. This is completely natural. However, very often, this leads to exaggerated requirements. Parents act out of good intentions, striving to prepare their child for the complexities of adult life, and therefore expect that he will be successful and ideal in everything. Increased workload, household chores, extra classes and sections - a lot of responsibilities and demands. And at this time, the teenager himself is not physically, not psychologically ready to meet expectations and fulfill everything that adults require of him.
If you want your teenager to hear you - learn to listen to him
After all, the real need of his age is the need for communication. The most important task from the point of view of personality formation is to learn how to interact in society, in a group, to gain experience of trusting friendship. While on the part of adults, this need is limited in every possible way. Hence the feeling of incomprehensibility, loss, loneliness that adolescents face.
The state of a teenager is completely special, this is a crisis period associated with strong psycho-emotional stress, physiological restructuring of the body. It is not for nothing that the condition of a teenager is sometimes compared to that of a pregnant woman. Therefore, when mental stress reaches a certain maximum, it works in consciousness like a kind of protective filter that tries to protect it from excessive stress. This is one of the reasons for "deafness" when a teenager ignores the demands addressed to him. Learn to understand the teenager, compare his capabilities, not only physical, but also mental with your requirements.
The right to free time
In addition, adolescence is a time for the formation of self-esteem and an individual's awareness of psychological boundaries. That is, a teenager learns to have and lag behind his point of view. At this time, he also has a need for personal time and his own interests. For full development, you cannot completely deprive a teenager of such an opportunity and right. He should have the opportunity to walk after school, communicate with peers, read books that are interesting to him, watch films, etc., and not only study, do household chores.
Sign a "contract"
Conclude a "contract" with the teenager - draw up an agreement with the teenager at the family council, where you will discuss not only his rights, but also your requirements, which he himself undertakes to fulfill. Also, be sure to discuss the system of penalties for failure to fulfill your obligations. The punishment should not be physical, humiliating the child. As a punishment, we can offer a reduction in the time of games and walks with peers, using a computer, etc.
