Tactfulness is the ability not only to behave in accordance with generally accepted rules of decency, moral norms, but also to avoid situations that may be unpleasant, burdensome or offensive to other people.
What are the main signs of tact
A tactful person will not be annoying, unceremonious. He will not embarrass the other person, even if he has a high status. Therefore, it is easy and pleasant to communicate with him. To some extent, tact is synonymous with politeness. A tactful person, first of all, does not cause inconvenience to other people. Before even visiting close friends, he will definitely ask if they are free at this time, if his visit will disrupt their plans. Once in an unfamiliar company, he will not look at people unceremoniously or ask them too frank questions (for example, how much do they earn). A tactful person will not talk about things that are little familiar to his interlocutors or not interesting to them.
Even if he speaks on a topic that is familiar and interesting to the interlocutors, he will try not to drag out his speech so as not to tire the listeners.
A tactful person knows a sense of proportion and taste. He understands what is permissible when communicating with certain people, and what is not, what can be joked about, and what is undesirable.
Tactfulness also implies a willingness to come to the rescue, but at the same time not be too persistent, all the more intrusive. A tactful person will willingly give good advice, but usually only after asking his opinion. He is reluctant to criticize other people, especially for the eyes.
A tactful person tries to solve his difficulties, problems on his own, and turns to others for help only in exceptional cases when he cannot cope on his own. In conversations, disputes, he refrains from categorical expressions, an aggressive commanding tone.
A tactful person, even being absolutely confident in his righteousness, prefers to use words like “if I’m not mistaken”, or “it seems to me that”.
Is tactfulness an innate or acquired quality?
Perhaps tact is passed on to a person at the genetic level to some extent. Otherwise, it is difficult to explain why some people literally instinctively feel and understand how to best behave in a given situation, what words to say, etc. But even a person who is not distinguished by special tact, good manners, if desired and persistent, can change for the better. To do this, you need to learn to understand people, empathize with them, support them. It is very useful to consider your behavior as if "from the outside", putting yourself in the place of another person, thereby passing a certain test.