A happy and peaceful life for children is the most painful and formidable obstacle to divorce, even if the couple unanimously made such a decision. How traumatic the breakdown of the family will be for the child and how the divorce of the parents will affect him - this should be the main thing for adults who do not want to live together anymore.
If you do not take as an example such situations when families, in fact, do not - the relationship of the spouses is at an impasse, and divorce will rather serve as a salvation for all participants in this process - divorce is always a tragedy. Even if the decision to finally break off relations is made by people who are quite adequate, who have maintained good relations, but who cannot step over past grievances, come to terms with the boredom and routine of family life.
Is the marriage of parents so valuable to the child?
Much has to be sacrificed for the sake of children. Having become parents, the majority subordinate their lives to the interests of the child. Everything is now for him and his future. And personal happiness as well. But it's one thing to go to an unloved, but profitable job, and another to live with an unloved person for years.
Even if the spouses, who have lost interest in each other, but decided to live together "for the sake of the child," managed to avoid turning the family home into a "training ground", the child's feelings should be taken into account. Yes, he feels everything. "The game of silence", the eternal restrained discontent of the parents is no less difficult for the baby than scandals and divorce.
Divorce of parents is a trauma for children, but is it as much as it is commonly believed? The main thing for former spouses is to be able to understand that they have always remained close relatives, and to share their roles as father and mother. It is important that the child understands that, despite the fact that dad and mom live separately, he will always find love and support from both.
Is it worth keeping a family for the sake of children
It is worth seeing if this family actually exists, or if there are only two adults left, annoying each other only with their appearance. Will the child be able to unite them, or will he be the chain that chains the convict to the cart? And will the child be satisfied with the role of such a "chain"?
Often, the parental "for the sake of the child" hides the spouses' own desire to save their marriage. Yes, there are no past feelings, but the alternative is loneliness or building new relationships, which also may not be better, plus a habit, plus material well-being. For the sake of all this, parents stay together, assuring themselves and those around them that this is done only for the sake of the children. The main thing is not to convince the children that the personal life of the parents was sacrificed to their “happy childhood”.
But wouldn't the realization that parents gave up personal happiness for their sake be even more traumatic for children than divorce? Moreover, it is very difficult to live without love for a long time, and a moment may come when one of the spouses will be captured not by ordinary fatigue or a desire for change, but by real great love. Then all the brakes and chains may not hold, and divorce will be inevitable.
For the sake of the children, it is worth doing everything possible so as not to preserve the marriage and the appearance of the family, but to save and revive the former love. But if this is not possible, then for the sake of the children one should let each other go to meet new happiness. After all, the best thing that parents can do for their children is to be happy.
