The realities of modern society are a fast pace of life and more and more common acquaintances on a social network, which sometimes turn into real life, but often remain virtual communication. Rare successes and frequent disappointments in such correspondence are often due to stereotyped questions, inability to ask in such a way as to get an idea of a person, and to show oneself from the best side.
How to choose an interlocutor
Correspondence that begins with a complete stranger is rarely successful if the interlocutors have nothing to establish contact with. Before starting a conversation on the Internet, you need to carefully study the page of the person you are going to write to. A profile can tell a lot about a person:
- the complete absence of posts means that he uses social networks exclusively for utilitarian needs: communication, acquaintances, messages to friends;
- closed to outsiders - the presence of an activity that he wants to hide;
- music, poetry, witty or beautiful pictures in a reasonable amount - about the versatility of the personality, which will make a good interlocutor;
- posts of interest - football, booze, fights, obscene swearing - think again if such a person needs to be interested;
- a page full of photos with different girls - that the potential participant in the conversation is clearly not suitable if the girl is trying to find love, and not just chat about anything, or engage in non-binding sexual relations.
The list of top questions, often recommended for starting a conversation on the Internet, consists of hackneyed phrases that are used by every second user of social networks. If you want to really interest your interlocutor, you need to stand out among the dozen of the same type of messages that he receives every day. To understand this, it is enough to imagine yourself in the place of a handsome guy, to whom strangers write every day, starting their acquaintance with the standard: “Hello! What are you doing?" or "What are you doing?" I don’t want to answer such boring and trivial questions, so most of the time they are simply ignored.
Neutral, or questions about nothing
There are certain restrictions on the subject of questions that can be asked if the purpose of the upcoming acquaintance is a long-term acquaintance. The purpose of the questions about anything is to prove that the guy at the moment of the first contact acts simply as an interesting interlocutor, whose opinion you want to hear. The best option is to start a conversation with the weather or some significant event:
- how do you like today's weather?
- do you like autumn? (rain, heat, snow)
- have you seen what is happening on the street?
- and you have bad weather too, or can you go for a walk?
- do you like hot or cool?
- is it really wonderful weather today?
- how do you feel about … (if the event is important for a common city or country)
- do you like to walk in this weather?
- and our fellows, right? (if there are indications on the page that the prospective friend is a sports fan), etc.
The more unusual the form of the question on the simplest topic, the more chances to interest a potential interlocutor, especially if a man (boy, guy) is good-looking and is used to female attention. The initial stage of a relationship assumes a complete absence of familiarity and jarring intimacy.
The purpose of the first conversation is to prove that the conversation can continue to be of interest to both parties, because the new interlocutor is an interesting person who is able to easily and unobtrusively maintain communication. For this, topics about anything are ideal: weather, city events, sports, music, literature, art. From them you can easily go to any bridge leading to the personality of a man. And this, as you know, is the most interesting topic for him.
Personality of the interlocutor and possible questions
The conversation does not have to be fully developed at the first moment of meeting. It can be delicately interrupted under a plausible pretext, and resumed in a day or two. This option will work on one condition: if the interlocutor became interested in the conversation about anything, and made it clear that he would not mind continuing the conversation. To do this, the next topic (himself) should begin after a few neutral questions.
There are some questions that should never be asked at the beginning of a conversation: “how much do you earn”, “how many rooms do you have in your apartment”, as well as intimate questions about your personal life. Questions should relate to the guy's personality, his predilections, you need to grope for a sphere of common interests, force to talk about yourself:
- did you have a good day?
- how did you get home?
- Am I wrong, or are you an incorrigible romantic at heart?
- do you like to meet the dawn?
- what superpower would you like for yourself?
- I love champagne, but real men don't drink it?
- do you like detectives?
- do you write poetry, or do you just have a good syllable?
- what color are your eyes?
- Have you always had such a beautiful hairstyle as in the photo?
In questions, it is imperative to demonstrate that the interlocutor begins to like it, that the correspondence with him is interesting, and to some extent it is intriguing that he is an intelligent and sweet person, even if this does not quite correspond to the truth. At the same time, in no case should you ask a personal question that interests most of all when meeting: does he have a girlfriend, wife or regular partner. If there is, and he has serious feelings for her, he himself will let you know about it. If not, then in response to a frontal question, he can lie to give himself weight in the eyes of a new acquaintance. The role and topics for the next 2-3 days is a sweet, unobtrusive, modest girl who is sincerely interested in the personality of her interlocutor.
Weak points and careful probing
The list of possible questions in the correspondence can be carefully expanded as soon as the author of the answers begins to ask his questions. For communication on a social network from someone who previously only reluctantly answered, this is a sure sign that a potential beloved is really interested in a girl with whom he has been texting for several days. Moreover, any information about yourself must be truthful, but carefully filtered. No phrases about the fact that the former turned out to be somehow “not like that”, no “my old boy”. Now is the time to transfer the conversation to the interlocutor in order to start receiving information about him.
- what are you doing in your free time?
- Do you have brothers and sisters, or are you alone in the family?
- Do you like going to museums, or do you hate like me?
- do you think it's better to wear a blue sweater or a red one?
- here you, as a man, know the answer to this question better, tell me, is that correct?
- are you so sensible, do you think I'm doing the right thing?
- Where do you like to go on weekends?
- Do you like to go to the cinema or watch movies at home?
- Are you interested in talking to me?
Such questions allow you to find out the so-called "weak points", transferring the conversation to which you can make the interlocutor think about the conversation. Look for the best answer options instead of those that have already been written, come to the conclusion that it is not some chatterbox who writes to him, but an intelligent, independent and interesting girl with whom it is interesting to talk in her free time.
It's still a long way to the stage of relationships in the real world, but penpals are almost complete. The guy received a certain amount of self-confidence, is confident in his own potential and that the girl is sincerely interested in him. It remains a little to play along with him, so that he is convinced of the happened coincidence of mutual emotional fields.
How realistic is it to love by correspondence
When the virtual relationship turns into a trusting stage, you should ask questions that will help you learn as much as possible about the true nature of the interlocutor. Then you can already ask about the relationships in which he was previously, and about intimate addictions, and even about everyday habits. The more truthful information you can get, the less likely disappointment will be in a real meeting. And one more thing: you must definitely listen to the answers to your questions, remember them and analyze them. Sometimes this is the only way to find out the truth.
Numerous examples from life prove that to love a stranger, about whom you only know what he considered necessary to write about himself, is a very real thing in modern society. Sometimes this feeling ends with personal contact, sometimes it turns into real life and ends in a serious relationship. All it takes is sincerity in dialogue. But if possible, it is better not to delay a personal meeting in order to quickly determine your compatibility in real life. Don't waste years suffering for someone you've never met.
