Raising children is a difficult, responsible and very troublesome business. Not every child wants to do this or that, and parents have to come up with motivation every time. Naturally, the purposefulness of the child directly depends on how correct the chosen motivation is.
How you can't motivate a child
Of course, the child must have pocket money; to start at the age of 5-6, the child must be able to manage finances in a small amount. But, in no case should you pay a child money for marks, cleaning, good behavior, etc., otherwise in the future the child will not take a step without money. But to pay for walking a neighbor's dog, a mowed lawn, looking after someone else's baby is quite appropriate, that is, for those things that are not considered ordinary and domestic.
If a child does not study well, dances, does crafts, and so on, under no circumstances can Tanya say this, Sasha Seryozha knows how to do it better. The result will be that the child starts to do everything out of spite, or even worse, his self-esteem will greatly decrease.
In no case should the child be told the following phrases: “I don’t want to communicate with you until you clean up, or learn how to behave, or learn the lessons, or correct a bad grade”. At first, it works, but later the child may refuse to communicate with the parent - the blackmailer.
Not always an unsatisfactory mark is the result of unlearned lessons or poorly learned material. There are situations in which the child is confused, does not get along with the teacher, finds himself in conflict situations, and much more. Punishing a bad grade by depriving a child of watching TV, going to the movies or visiting, some kind of event or holiday can instill in the child so much guilt. Before taking such drastic measures, it is necessary to understand whether the bad grade is really the result of unlearned lessons.
For example, a child does not study very well or is not a leader in some team game or section, and parents, wanting to stimulate the child, say: if you finish a quarter good, you will get a tablet, a smartphone, a typewriter, that is, what the kid dreams of. Such a promise only creates unnecessary stress, the child is very worried if he fails to achieve the desired result, and the situation turns out exactly the opposite.
And yet, this is your child, and he will not cease to be yours, either with good grades, or with bad grades, with good behavior and not so much. Of course, you need to educate and motivate your child, but you shouldn't put all your unrealized ambitions into him, making the child something between an excellent student, an artist and an athlete.
